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May 31, 2005

Coming out of the Closet - A Classmate's Story

In my final semester of law school, I decided to take a seminar entitled, "The History of Crime and Punishment." The course was fantastic as was the teacher (a retired history professor from England - there's something more captivating about hearing tails of torture and trial by battle from a speaker with a British accent!). Anyway, to me, the most interesting moment in the course came during one particular student's paper presentation. (We all had to speak for about five minutes about our particular papers and then field questions for four or five minutes.) The first night we did presentations, I was nearly comatose. I had only gotten one hour of sleep the night before (not a huge shock to those who know me), so needless to say, I wasn't exactly that focused on what my classmates were saying until...

"I did my paper on the trials of Oscar Wilde." That remark in and of itself meant nothing to me. I had heard Oscar Wilde's name before, but was completely ignorant about the man himself and began to tune out pretty quickly. My attention was suddenly piqued, however, when I thought I heard the presenter use the term, "sodomite." I looked around somewhat confused, wondering if I had actually heard what I thought I had heard. “Sodomite” isn’t one of those words you hear that often in law school – at least, not at my law school! Needless to say, I started paying more attention to the speaker’s words. Unfortunately, understanding them was difficult. Not only was I tired beyond belief, the speaker's style of speech was a cross between Yoda and Gollum's, disjointed at best. After the student dropped a "sodomite" here and a "Gomorrah" there, he finally said, "There's an active homosexual community that is underground because these people are not out of the closet, yet they all know each other. (Long pause) For example, I personally am not out to my family or coworkers, but I am out to most of my friends!" (And also out to the whole class at this point!)

After hearing these words, I looked around to gauge the reactions of my classmates. To my complete astonishment, no one seemed even remotely phased. Don't get me wrong, I didn’t care that the guy was gay - one of my dearest friends is openly gay and I love him like a brother (normal brothers, not brothers who touch each other in special places). I just found it incredibly odd that someone would "out" himself to a group in this particular situation, especially if he had not “outed” himself to his family or coworkers yet.

When the student eventually stopped talking, the professor opened the floor for discussion. Much to my surprise, my classmates actually asked questions about the substantive portions of this guy’s paper. (Because of his speaking style, I don’t know how they had been able to follow the student’s presentation.) After a few minutes, the teacher said (in his British accent - that’s not really relevant to the story, but you should imagine the following being said by a British man just because it’s fun to imagine something being said by a British man), "I'm afraid we only have time for one more question." With those words, my hand rocketed towards the ceiling like I was trying to pull the moon from the sky. When the teacher gave me the floor, I stumbled and stammered like a drunken philosopher. "Umm...you ugh...well, your name is X, right? (Yes.) Okay, well, umm...X, have you...umm....have you...well, have you given... Wow, I don't know exactly how to say this! Have you...umm...given any thought...thought to...maybe...well, I guess I'm just trying to figure out whether you've...um...given any thought to accepting... have you given any thought to accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior?" (Drum riff!)

Okay, so I didn’t ACTUALLY ask that question! However, I definitely thought it! I didn't think it in a pejorative sense because I really could care less whether people are gay. In my world, as long as you're a good human being and treat others well, I don't give a damn if you prefer innies or outies, Joes or Janes, snakes or holes, or even innies, outies, Joes, Janes, snakes AND holes!!! (Although if you’re enjoying everything, that seems a tad greedy, doesn’t it?) I only thought of asking the question because I think it would have generated a humongous laugh! (My judgment in this regard has not always been foolproof, but is generally pretty solid.) Nevertheless, in the interest of sensitivity (I was told afterwards by a guy who knows this student that the student probably would have taken the comment as I would have meant it - in a lighthearted and joking manner), I decided to refrain from asking the question in case it would have made the student or my classmates uncomfortable.

There is really no point to this story. I must take a nap now.

Posted by fool on May 31, 2005 05:50 PM

Comments

Posted by: black jesus at May 31, 2005 10:12 PM

Posted by: Fool at June 1, 2005 12:04 AM

Posted by: Marshall at June 1, 2005 08:26 AM