« Maybe I should Write Questions for the Bar | Main | Random Ramblings on the News: Jacko, Danger at Disney, Mother Nature’s Menopausal Flashes, the Tragedy in Aruba, and Beauty in the Americas! »
June 14, 2005
Mr. & Mrs. Smith Come to Washington
I am proud to say that of the more than $50 million dollars that Mr. & Mrs. Smith rang up over the weekend, $20 came from me! It should be noted (which is why I am noting it) that I will see just about any movie that Hollywood releases, even if I think I will be completely bored and leave the theater quite disgruntled. As with most rules, there are a few exceptions. For example, I wouldn’t see The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D - yes, there is such a film in theaters right now - even if you paid for my ticket and promised to put a hex on my soon-to-be-ex degenerate brother-in-law. (In case you're confused, he won't be an ex-degenerate; he'll be an ex-brother-in-law. I'm not the type who thinks it's right to poison children against their parents; thus, I don't plan to speak poorly about my brother-in-law to my nephew at any point in time. However, the fact that my nephew is barely one ensures that I can trash his father online indefinitely (and trust me, there are some GREAT stories which will be shared in the future). Anyway...) I also generally won't see any movie made by Oliver Stone because, well, Oliver Stone makes horrible movies. (Note to Oliver – a little less time spent ingesting drugs might help.) Back to the issue at hand, Mr. & Mrs. Smith was one of those movies that I expected to be bad. The plot didn't seem remotely intriguing to me and I just wasn't jazzed to see the film. Thus, it was MUCH to my pleasant surprise that I didn’t find myself looking at my watch several times during the movie. Instead, I actually enjoyed the film and found it quite entertaining from start to finish (especially the scenes at the marriage counselor's office). I don't think the movie would have worked with two different leading actors. There's just something about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt! In fact, after seeing Pitt and Jolie share the screen for a couple of hours, I will admit that I hope the rumors that the two are dating are true because if they are dating, there is a chance that they will make a “home movie” (in the tradition of Paris Hilton). If they do make such a "home movie" and that movie happens to get released to the public, even though I have never purchased such a video in the past (truthfully), I will absolutely purchase that video and might even buy several copies to give as gifts! Imagine that...
Sister: Let's see what your uncle gave you, [Nephew of Thinking Fool]. (Unwraps present expecting it to be a Baby Einstein DVD or some other children's video.) (GULPS). Umm, it's a DVD porn featuring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Thinking Fool: I wanted to get him something he could use.
Sister: He's not even two.
Thinking Fool: It's like a U.S. Savings Bond. It will be worth much more in the future. (Pauses to combat dirty look) Trust me, in the future, he'll be very glad that I took the time.
Seriously, can someone explain to me what Jennifer Anniston and Billy Bob Thornton were thinking? Jennifer Anniston should be a nobody - she's not a particularly good actress and she's a dime a dozen in the looks department and Billy Bob Thornton, well, he's a great actor, but come on! If you didn't know better and saw Billy Bob Thornton's name next to Angelina Jolie's, you'd think you had identified the correct answer to one of those "which one doesn't fit" questions that the SAT loves to feature. Speaking of tests, I must resume studying for the evil bar exam. (Though I complain about that exam, I realize that there are many things worse than studying for the bar, such as being in rehab, being in Iraq, being in prison, being in mourning, having cancer, being my degenerate soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law, etc. Still sucks though!)
Thinking Fool’s Final Grade for Mr. & Mrs. Smith: B+
