June 08, 2005
Wow, Football Players Really Don't Have Much Shame!
After being entrenched in a bar review class for exactly one week, I’d say studying for the bar is kind of like being an abortion doctor. I'm sure it's rewarding on some level. I just haven't figured out how.
Remember the tale of the former football player who urinated into an empty water bottle during a law school class because of a dare? Well, I now know that football players are daredevils regardless of gender. Yesterday, I arrived about fifteen minutes before my class began and found myself loitering in the lobby talking to people. (GE Friend is undoubtedly thrilled that I actually was early to something.) While loitering, one of my fellow law school graduates, who happens to be in my bar review course, arrived holding a bag that was so big that I thought she might be heading to Europe for a six month sojourn. Being inquisitive to a fault, I asked why my classmate had such a big bag on this warm Tuesday afternoon. Without saying a word, my classmate unzipped her bag and yanked out a full-sized football helmet. With the exception of Kathy Ireland in Necessary Roughness (Ireland was the best looking placekicker in the history of football movies - in fact, she might be the best looking "athlete" in the history of sports movies, period), this was the first time I had ever seen a woman actually hold a football helmet. Naturally, I asked why she had such an object in her possession. She responded that she was on a football team and that she had practice later that afternoon. Forgetting a truth learned in law school – never dare football players to do anything – I told the woman that if she would wear the football helmet AND stroll into the bar review class right as it was beginning AND keep the football helmet on her head for ten minutes, I would pay her $20. (I should have told her she had to wear it for an hour!) One minute before class was scheduled to start, the female football player came strolling in, her head completely covered by the football helmet. With no shame, she walked to the front of the classroom (we enter from the back and have to walk at a downward slope to reach the front of the room), deposited her bag in a corner, and took a seat right next to me. As you can probably imagine, the expressions on the people in the room were priceless! With looks that ranged from complete amusement to utter disdain, the law school graduates stared at the football player and undoubtedly thought, “What in the hell is wrong with this person?” When the football player sat next to me, I placed twenty dollars under my cell phone and began monitoring the time. After ten minutes passed, I took the twenty dollars out from under the phone (cell phones are great paperweights) and slid the money over to the football player. The football player took off her helmet and shot me a nodding, "You should have known better" smile. Yes, I should have. For now on, I'll remember that football players, regardless of gender, all have titanium sets of balls.
Comments
That was a pretty good story. I don't think I have people this amusing in any of my classes. Maybe I need more football players. Or more people to egg them on. *ponder*
Posted by: Marshall at June 8, 2005 05:27 PM
Egging on is the key (IMHO). Money is a great incentive for almost anything...Osama Bin Laden's non-capture notwithstanding.
Posted by: Fool at June 8, 2005 05:50 PM
Bitchin'. BTW my good friend at Expressio Unius recently moved to DC and is taking Barbri there (for the MD bar though), you should check out his blog. Maybe you'll see him around town!
Posted by: GG at June 26, 2005 11:37 PM
