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July 21, 2005
Bringing Out the Best in People - Not So Much
After reading this entry, you certainly won’t be able to claim that I fail to bring out the best in people. I want to share two emails with you. Both are from friends, though with friends like these, who needs enemies?
A law school friend (hereinafter “Deer Assassin”) recently informed me via email that on his cross-country road trip from the District of Columbia to a state West of the Mississippi, the friend hit a deer with his car. After fleshing out the details a bit, it turns out that the Deer Assassin hit the deer when the deer ran onto the Interstate. Needless to say, the deer did not survive the encounter, but the Deer Assassin did (hence his ability to email me). We went back and forth a bit about how I like deer and am not in favor of people shooting them (unless the people are going to eat the deer), which eventually caused the Deer Assassin to write the following (which isn't suitable for the eyes of children unless they've been repeatedly exposed to the F-word; but if children are reading this blog, I question if something has gone awry at home):
Yeah it's a fucking tragedy. Look, the fucking deer ran out at me, I was doing like 80; it could have easily come through my windshield or ended up under me, which would have done significant damage to my car, perhaps killing me at that speed. I easily could have fucking died so I was thrilled when the thing hit my side rather than my nose... my heart was doing like 220 for 5 minutes afterwards. I think you'd be happy that I lived through it rather than focusing on the fucking deer who committed suicide... I did not have the last clear chance to avoid this, it was contneg (contributory negligence) all the way by the deer, you heartless bastard. I nearly died. I fucking hate you.
From one good friend’s message of love and affection to another’s. A high school friend, whom I shall refer to as “Cigarette Peddler” sent me the following short and sweet (I mean "not sweet") email:
I just read the book myself and I thought it was pretty interesting but I just don't have the heart for politics anymore. If you were to fall off a building onto a large knife that went right through your heart I would be ok with this happening to you.
As mentioned, with friends like that....
The enemy these days is the California Bar Exam. The Fool is taking some time off from the blogosphere to focus on that pesky test. Don’t fret. I’ll be back, but probably not until August. Don't abandon me and I won't abandon you.
Comments
I love all of God's creatures. Especially in a good gravy.
Posted by: jcristof at July 21, 2005 11:57 AM
GOOD LUCK ON THE BAR!
(See, I put it in all caps 'cause I mean it.)
Posted by: Marshall at July 26, 2005 08:03 PM
The Deer Assassin might consider that he was breaking the law by "doing like 80" and would have gotten what he deserved if his speed caused a multiple car pile-up. Too bad it wasn't a moose - maybe with those antlers we could have rid the world of one more idiot behind the wheel. the deer didn't know any better...what's this asshole's excuse?!
Posted by: Lo at August 8, 2005 03:29 PM
A better question is: What is the DEER's excuse for running out into the road and hitting a car?
Posted by: Oregon Tillamook at August 8, 2005 07:50 PM
