Thinking Fool

« War of the Worlds Should have Been Called War of Crap | Main | CNN Weather Man: How NOT to keep Your Composure On the Air »

August 26, 2005

As Gas Prices Keep Going Up, Maybe It's Time For Us to Call in the Fine Folks from Disney

If gas prices continue to rise - and there's no reason to believe they won't - how long will it take for the American economy to collapse? People only have so much disposable income. When that income starts being used in its entirety to purchase fuel, how are Americans going to spend money on discretionary items? We really need alternative sources of energy NOW. With China and India ratcheting up the demand for oil to levels that the world has never seen, isn't it time that this administration and Congress really start to pursue alternative sources of energy? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could honestly walk into a Pan-Arab Council meeting and say, "Look guys, we don't want, nor do we need your STINKING oil, (douche bags)!" At a minimum, hybrid cars need to become the norm, not the aberration that they are today. What we really ought to do, however, is find ways to run automobiles on power sources that can be found entirely inside America. Then we wouldn’t have to be dependent on a bunch of lunatics in the Middle East. The oil industry in America might be decimated if we went the alternative energy route, but industries get decimated all the time when progress is made (electricity hurt candles, computers killed typewriters, O.J. savagely killed Nicole, etc). The oil industry should not be immune from eventual destruction if its destruction would better the country. Unfortunately, I don’t think there are enough politicians with guts to really attack what might be America’s strongest national security concern.

If our public officials refuse to engage in a game of showdown with members of America's oil industry and also continue to shirk the duty to make our borders safer, maybe we can convince them to take over Saudi Arabia. Although many people have suggested invading Saudi Arabia to gain control over its oil fields, I find such reasoning to be short-sighted. The best reason to invade Saudi Arabia is not to take advantage of the country’s oil fields; the best reason is to capitalize on Saudi Arabia’s tourism potential. If you’re wondering who the hell would go to Saudi Arabia on vacation, I’ve got two words for you: Mecca Disney. Seriously, Mecca Disney could be the biggest and best (which isn’t saying a whole lot) Disney theme park in existence! Mickey and Donald could behead Minnie and Daisy on stage each evening. Goofy could stone Pluto to death. Chip and Dale could even perform a nude review. Kids and parents would absolutely love the place! Now, I realize that Mecca Disney would be encountered with hostility at first. After all, the French didn't exactly receive Euro Disney all that warmly when it was introduced and unlike some of our Middle Eastern friends today, the French weren’t even cutting people’s heads off at the time Euro Disney was being built (the guillotine had been retired for more than a decade). Nevertheless, I really believe Muslims worldwide (especially the fanatical ones) would celebrate the building of Mecca Disney. In fact, Islamofascists would undoubtedly open their hearts and minds to the United States and help us build what would undoubtedly be THE ABSOLUTE Happiest Place on Earth once we explained that the park would be built right in the heart of Mecca. As we've all learned, once the hearts and minds get captured, everything else is a piece of cake. Just ask Secretary Rumsfeld.

Posted by fool on August 26, 2005 04:37 AM

Comments

Posted by: fermanator at August 28, 2005 09:59 PM

Posted by: Fool at August 28, 2005 11:34 PM

Posted by: NYU Jew at September 14, 2005 06:50 PM