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August 09, 2005
But Pancakes are on the Menu...
Australia is the first country I've visited that did not leave me thinking, "It's so great to be home," upon landing at a United States airport. To the contrary, I wish I had more time in the land down under even if one waitress left much to be desired.
Thinking Fool Exhibit #1: My first Australian dining experience...
Background: There were eight or nine items listed on the breakfast menu at a restaurant that had a seating capacity of about 40 people. When I placed my order, there were 10 people in the restaurant at the time. (For all of my mathematically-challenged readers, that means the restaurant was operating at about 25% of its capacity.) Here's how the ordering process went...
Thinking Fool: (Looking at the waitress and pointing to the word "Pancakes" on my menu) "I would like the pancakes please." (I often employ the "point to the item that I want while also reciting its name" ordering method to ensure accuracy. This is especially helpful when a waiter or waitress does not speak English as a first language. It was crystal clear from the minute she approached the table that this particular waitress had a vocabulary that consisted of no more than 100 English words.)
Waitress: (Upon hearing my order, the expression on the waitress' face was hard to describe. Basically it was the type of expression that I'd only expect to view on a person's face if I had said something like, "I was wondering if you'd mind if I took a page out of Aztec history and sacrificed your child in some great ceremony before the eyes of thousands of people. I could even pay you five or ten dollars if that would make it worth your while." Seriously, this lady glared at me with a look of pure astonishment and horror etched into every centimeter of her face.) "Pancakes??????????? OOOOOOhhhhh nooooooo! We're WAY too busy to make pancakes. You'll have to order something else." (The comment was said with a tone that implied that I was an absolute moron for not realizing that pancakes would not be available when the restaurant had more than two or three people dining. In retrospect, I don't know how I could have been so dumb. Sigh.)
Thinking Fool: (At this point, I looked around at the restaurant's patrons, noticed that there weren't that many of them, and thought, "Ummmmmmmmmmmmm!" Seriously, since when did making pancakes consume a tremendous amount of a cook's time. Pancakes might be one of the easiest breakfast items to make. Nevertheless, I decided to go with option two.) "Hmmm, okay, then may I have the French Toast, please?"
Waitress: (The look of horror and astonishment that had been plastered on the server's face became less severe, but confusion and frustration still could be sensed.) "French toast???" she replied while undoubtedly thinking, "Why must this American be so difficult and order something off the menu that clearly is hard to make?" "Well, I can try to get the cook to make it, but you're going to have to wait awhile."
Thinking Fool: (Thinking, "Is it always going to be this difficult to order food in this country?") "I'll wait."
There's definitely a reason why tipping is optional in the land down under. Fortunately, I was never outright rejected again when I ordered something on an Australian menu. The country also had pretty good food! With the exception of the time that I ordered a cheeseburger and ended up eating something that was probably kangaroo, I was quite pleased.
Comments
Out of curiousity, how was the Freedom toast?
Posted by: NYU Jew at August 10, 2005 12:04 AM
Now, can't you let us know some of the great things about Oz...? This is a funny incident but I want to hear more about why you wanted more time there. Hopefully, it wasn't just the beer. Though I should have gotten you to ship me some VB's.
Posted by: Lo at August 11, 2005 11:43 AM
This post just goes to show that, even in the case of cool foreign countries that are strong and loyal allies to the U.S., the world is filled with nations that are inferior to the United States in every way, shape, and form. I have great respect for Australia and Australians, especially Ian Thorpe, but they don't match up well with Americans.
Posted by: Oregon Tillamook at August 13, 2005 12:22 AM
