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September 15, 2005
Excuse me, is that a Grizzly Bear Growing in your Ear?
Is there a tactful way of telling a person that he has too much ear hair?
Last weekend, I played poker with a man who didn't have just a little bit of hair protruding from his ears. Instead, his ears looked like they had been hijacked by a high school biology instructor-gone-crazy and used in some crazy science experiment to make a person's ears look as unattractive as humanly possible. (The experiment succeeded!) It goes without saying that the man is not married (unless his wife hates his guts and wants him to look like some creature from the Ice Age while he roams around Southern California). It was hard not to stare at the man's ears - I felt like a rubbernecker driving by a horrific traffic accident - I wanted to look away, but simply couldn't despite my best efforts. Needless to say, I hope this man hasn't fathered any children. However, what concerns me more is thinking about what I should say to the man if I see him again. I'm leaning towards saying, "Sir, you have the ugliest ears I have ever seen in my life. Please trim your ear hair immediately. You disgust me. You are a disgusting human being." That gets to the point while still being respectful, right?
Comments
Voracious nose hair is a serious issue for some as well. I have seen it where the line separating mustache and nose hair has been blurred to an incredible degree. It was a horrible horrible thing.
Posted by: Finished.Law.School at September 16, 2005 11:03 AM
