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October 13, 2005
One Telephone + Two Brothers + One Insane Allegation + One Radio Station = A Joyous Afternoon
Once upon a time, there was a sports talk show host in Phoenix named John Cannon. Unlike most of today’s sport talk mavens, Cannon’s show actually was entirely sports-focused (perhaps that’s one reason his show didn’t last). My brother and I used to call Cannon on a semi-regular basis, not to have a legitimate discussion about sports, but to piss him off instead! Each time we called, we would end our “commentaries” by saying, “I mean, you know I’m right; you gotta agree with me.” Upon hearing these magical words, without fail Cannon would respond the same way. His voice would become noticeably agitated, increasing both in volume and in pitch (to the point where he sounded like a steaming tea kettle when he hit certain words). “NO, I DON’T THINK YOU’RE RIGHT!!! AND I DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU!!!”
Needless to say, we had many proud moments calling John Cannon’s show. The pinnacle came one day when I led things off by calling about the Suns.
Cannon: We’ll go to Otis on a mobile. Hi, Otis.
Otis (Thinking Fool): Hey, John, how’s it going?
Cannon: Not too bad, Otis. What’s up?
Otis: Well, I want to know if you watched the Suns game last night.
Cannon: Yes, I did.
Otis: Well, then you had to notice what I noticed, John. The Suns were up by “X” points with a few seconds to go and Danny Ainge fired a shot from just behind the 3-point arc. Now, John, I’m sure you’re aware that the line on last night’s game was Y points and Ainge had no business shooting a shot like that. I’ve checked with some of my friends, and we’re pretty certain now that the Suns are engaged in some sort of point-shaving scandal. I mean, you know I’m right and you’ve got to agree with me, John.
Cannon: NO, I DON’T THINK YOU’RE RIGHT, OTIS! AND I DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU...
What made this day unusual was that my brother called immediately after I did. Cannon hung up on him as well. A few minutes later, Cannon's shift ended and the next guy took over. Well, wanting to see what sort of controversy we could generate, my brother and I called the next guy’s show and basically repeated our comments, saying something like, “We heard some guys on Cannon’s show mention this point-shaving thing and we've definitely heard similar rumors and think they're true." GE Friend placed a call echoing our comments and by George, that’s all it took. For the next four hours, the Phoenix sports talk market was talking about one thing – whether the Phoenix Suns, one of the cleanest teams in all of Sports, were engaged in a point-shaving scandal. After one commercial break, the afternoon host actually came on the air and said, “During the break, I called a friend of mine who runs a sportsbook at a major casino in Vegas and asked him to come on to talk about this. He refused, saying he didn’t even want to legitimize this moronic claim.” Can you imagine? “Tonight on Sportscenter we begin in Phoenix where the manager of a Las Vegas Sportsbook went on the air to deny allegations that the Phoenix Suns are shaving points.”
The next day, I called Cannon's show and told the producer I would like to go on the air. The producer said, "Otis, we got a call from the Suns and they're pissed. John doesn't want you to go on the air with him anymore."
Mission accomplished. God bless you, Alexander Graham Bell.
Comments
Otis as in Otis Day and the Knights from National Lampoon's Animal House? I mean, you know I’m right and you’ve got to agree with me.
Posted by: Danielson at October 17, 2005 04:04 PM
NO, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE RIGHT...;-)
Posted by: Fool at October 17, 2005 07:47 PM
