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October 17, 2005
A Modest Proposal for Teaching the Teacher a Thing or Two
Remember the days when you had to ask your teacher for permission to go the bathroom? If you were anything like me, you usually phrased the question like this: “Can I go to the bathroom?” More often than not, the teacher would reply, “I don’t know. CAN you?” For some reason, teachers seemed to get off on correcting this one grammatical mistake. (Perhaps it was the only one they knew for certain.) Anyway, this might seem a tad extreme, but if your child has a teacher who gets off on the “I don’t know; can you?” line and you don't like this particular teacher very much and you have a son and you don't really care if your son goes through an incredible amount of pain, then I have a great idea. Take your son to your local physician and tell the doctor that you want to have your boy catheterized. (No “good” doctor will do this obviously, but if you can find a doctor as despicable as my degenerate soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law, you should have no problems getting this done.) The next day, tell your son to make sure he asks the teacher if he can go to the bathroom. When she (most elementary school teachers are women, yes?) responds with the familiar, “I don’t know, CAN YOU?” line, tell your son to retort, “Actually, I have a catheter in my penis, so at the moment I can’t, you bitch.” If nothing else, this will make the next parent-teacher conference pretty entertaining. Obviously, I shouldn't have children.
Comments
I don't think that makes much sense, since the boy has already asked whether he could go. Why would he ask if he could go if he knew he had a catheter?
It would be a better response to prove that he could go by whipping it out, pissing into a bottle, and then exclaiming, "Well whaddya know....Yes I can!"
Catorce.
Posted by: Fermanator at October 17, 2005 09:45 PM
A flaw no doubt, but it'd be a nice trap by a fourth of fifth grader. :)
Posted by: Fool at October 17, 2005 10:10 PM
Hey Fermanator, does the boy have to be in Snarf's Property class to piss in a bottle, or would any class do?
Posted by: Danielson at October 19, 2005 04:38 PM
