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December 05, 2005
From Our Fine Friends at MTV: Room Raiders - A Television Show NOT Worth Watching (Though it Certainly Helps Us Figure Out Whom We Don't Want Procreating)
Have you seen the show Room Raiders on MTV? If you haven’t (you’re not missing much), let me explain the basic premise of the program. An MTV crew suddenly “kidnaps” three people, placing them in the back of a van (this is precisely the reason vans should be outlawed). The van is equipped with a television monitor, which allows the three kidnapped victims to watch as a member of the opposite sex rummages through the victims’ rooms in order to determine which victim he or she’d like to bang take out on a date. (All photos are either removed or covered to ensure that the Room Raider won’t be able to select his potential date based on physical appearance.) At the end of the show, the raider and the victims are brought together in one room, where the raider tells the victims what he liked and didn’t like about their rooms. Then victims are dismissed one by one until eventually the person with the “best room” is forced to gets to go on a date with the Room Raider. (Why is it that people are ALWAYS excited to be chosen on these dating shows? I think Ted Bundy's skeleton could appear on one of these programs and even knowing that he's a serial killer, some lucky girl would be jazzed about beating the competition and actually being selected by Theodore. Just baffles my mind. Sometimes, it really is better to lose.)
Some points about the show...
First, the program is horrible.
Second, obviously because I love Laguna Beach and My Super Sweet Sixteen for some unexplainable reason, TIVO thought I’d enjoy watching Room Raiders, so it recorded the program without my consent. It now knows not to make this mistake in the future. (I hate disciplining TIVO because I appreciate and want to encourage its free thinking, but sometimes its behavior simply cannot be condoned.)
Third, MTV goes out of its way to make you think that the people who are taken out of their homes have no idea what the hell is going on. That sort of makes sense. After all, the “kidnapping” has to be a surprise or else the victims would be able to remove embarrassing articles from their rooms, which obviously would not make the show as interesting. My question is this: how the hell does MTV just randomly target people and know that its crew can forcefully remove those people from their homes? How has MTV not gotten sued? How have MTV crew members avoided being arrested for kidnapping? Have MTV crew members been arrested for kidnapping? Why did Eddie Murphy agree to do Beverly Hills Cop III?
Fourth (in case you forgot point number one), Room Raiders is absolutely dreadfully awful.
Fifth, the episode I watched featured a white dude who longed to be the next Eminem and who actually thought it was cool that one of the girls had a star named after her (a wall in the girl’s room proudly displayed a document from the International Star Registry proving that some lunatic former boyfriend person named a star after this particular young woman). The International Star Registry is lucky that I’m not in a position of extreme power because if I were, that place would be shut down. I cannot think of a bigger scam than the one being run by the founders of that particular organization. (You have to have some level of admiration for people who legally take advantage of other people's stupidity, but in the case of the International Star Registry, it's more like taking candy from a kid on the short bus - some things you simply should not do.) With the exception of astronomers, any person who has spent more than $50 to name a star after another human being should be sterilized immediately unless that person voluntarily agrees never to procreate. We cannot continue to let people like this breed. The country cannot sustain that much stupidity indefinitely. (If you've ever wanted a star named after you or actually been excited when a star was named after you and you were older than 10 when you had these feelings, it'd be nice if you'd start taking birth control a little more seriously.)
Sixth, any person who appears on Room Raiders should not be allowed to procreate. (That particular list is getting quite long.)
I've finally figured out how to use the "strike out" feature. This makes me very happy.
Comments
i've tried watching nearly everything on mtv at least once and even i can't get through an entire episode of this show. it makes me think there is a reason why mtv's target audience doesn't extend past 25. (i judge 25 to be its cut-off because beyond this age one cannot apply to be on the Real World.)
Posted by: gator girl at December 5, 2005 01:08 AM
My current roommate told me within the last few days that in high school, his or her class actually named a star and presented it to their science teacher. Should I find a new roommate?
Notes:
-the gender neutrality thing is really annoying to read
-this roommate may or may not be my significant other (or partner), but if he or she is, learning that he or she should not be procreating would obviously have serious consequences on our relationship.
Posted by: NYU Jew at December 6, 2005 09:41 PM
A star for a science teacher is actually a noble attempt at a good gift. Your roommate can remain in the "can procreate" category...for now. Hope HE is a good roommate.
Posted by: Fool at December 7, 2005 12:32 AM
