January 04, 2006
"All Aboard!" - I Should have ponied up the cash for Amtrak: The Story
Securing a free ride from BWI to DC at 10:30 on a Monday night is not an easy task. After Monday night's experience, I'm not certain it's a task worth pursuing in the future.
Much to his credit, the Smiling Jew agreed to pick me up at BWI airport on Monday night. For those of you who don’t live in the Washington D.C. metro area, BWI is to Reagan National what Frederick’s of Hollywood is to Victoria’s Secret, i.e., it’s simply inferior in all aspects, except price!
It was 10:33 when I entered the Smiling Jew’s car. I thanked him profusely for making the trek from Cleveland Park to the purgatory of airports. After all, only great friends will pick you up at BWI, especially late at night, and your eternal thanks should be showered upon them.
The first twenty minutes of our drive were pretty uneventful. The Smiling Jew served as my personal Chris Berman and Brian Williams, catching me up on the day's news and sports scores.
Then, the smell of trouble started to permeate the air.
“I don’t feel that well.”
I didn't think much of those words at the time, but within five minutes, the Smiling Jew had gone from telling me that he would never eat at California Tortilla Factory because he had a stomach ache to, are you ready for this? Throwing up in one hand while steering the car with the other! 
Even Chunk couldn't make this up!
I don’t know about you, but before Monday, I had never been a passenger in a vehicle where the driver violently vomited WHILE driving the vehicle. That takes a tremendous amount of focus! Bless his heart, the Smiling Jew attempted to use his hand as a container for his vomit, but needless to say, after the first hurl, that worked about as well as the prosecutors in the O.J. Simpson trial.
Even though we eventually pulled over at RFK stadium (and somehow avoided being murdered), the driver’s side of the Smiling Jew’s car pretty much looked like a throw-up storm had passed through town while his windows remained wide open.
I drove us home from there.
Perhaps I should take the train next time.
Comments
as someone who has taken advantage of the smiling jew's graciousness in airport pick-ups, in the future i will ask what he ate that day before i get into his car.
Posted by: gator girl at January 4, 2006 09:17 AM
I will never vomit and drive at the same time again. Also, I recommend never eating at California Tortilla.
Posted by: smiling jew at January 4, 2006 12:43 PM
LOL. Ewww! What an experience, to say the least. Consider yourself linked. :)
Posted by: The BLS at January 4, 2006 11:14 PM
For some reason, the California Tortilla Factory just doesn't sound kosher.
Posted by: nyu jew at January 6, 2006 03:07 PM
