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February 27, 2006
Dinner with the Family: Oh Captain, My Captain!
On Saturday, Papa Fool treated Mama Fool, Sister Fool, and me (notice, I didn’t use “I”) to dinner at a very nice steakhouse in my hometown. For a supermajority of the meal, our waiter, who referred to himself as our “captain,” acted in a more formal manner than even Emily Post would suggest. In fact, it took him the entire meal before he finally loosened up a bit and realized that my family is not comprised of people with sticks up their asses (especially now that "The Shaman" is no longer part of the family).
Captain Waiter: Is there anything else I can get you folks? Perhaps dessert, a cup of coffee, an espresso, maybe even a massage?
Sister Fool: Ooh, do you guys give massages that include happy endings?
Waiter: (After about ten seconds of silence elapsed and with pure embarrassment plastered across his face) Umm, I’ll have to check on that for you.
While Captain Jack was away, Papa Fool and I encouraged my sister to ask yet another question.
Waiter: Here’s your check, it’s been an absolute pleasure serving you tonight.
Sister Fool: Captain, I understand that someone at this restaurant either likes to or has actually been charged with committing mopery. Is that true?
Waiter: (Completely bewildered) Umm, I’m not certain. I haven’t heard anything like that.
Sister Fool: Well, do you know what mopery is?
Waiter: No, I don’t.
Sister Fool: Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person.
At that point, Papa Fool and I started laughing uncontrollably.
Waiter: (Looking at my parents) You folks should know that you raised a very classy daughter.
Naturally, that only made us laugh harder. Needless to say, it was great being home.
Comments
Classic story FOOL!
Posted by: wc at February 27, 2006 11:58 PM
Since when is there a Sister Fool???
Posted by: NYU Jew at February 28, 2006 11:17 AM
There's been a Sister Fool since I was born.
Posted by: Fool at February 28, 2006 06:58 PM
Is mopery a real thing? Wait, don't answer that. I thought you meant, like, moping around and being sad. I am so sheltered.
Posted by: The Attractive Nuisance at February 28, 2006 10:04 PM
Having the entire Fool family all in one place at the same time must be a thing to behold. ;)
Posted by: Marshall at March 2, 2006 09:43 AM
