« My Take on the Zacarias Moussaoui Mess | Main | Conversations at Work: Volume XI »

March 16, 2006

From the You Cannot Make this Stuff Up File (even if you're on Crack, Coke, Heroin, Speed, and Ambien at the same time)

I recently received the following email from one of my friends who is clerking at D.C. Superior Court.

Today has been one of the best days yet as a clerk. I learned some invaluable lessons that should serve me well in the future:
1. When denying you hit your wife, and while cross-examining your wife about the allegations of hitting her, do not ask your wife why she did not call the police after you hit her if you already know that the reason she did not call the police was because you asked her not to call them because you are on parole for MURDER. Especially when the murder conviction has not previously been mentioned by anyone and the judge did not even know about the murder conviction.
2. When denying you hit your wife, do not bring your cell phone to court if the phone has a video taped recording of you hitting your wife.

You couldn't make this up if you wanted to. I just wish I would have known about these rules before I taught Street Law. I think I could have helped out several of my students!

Posted by fool on March 16, 2006 01:13 AM

Comments

This reminds me of a tax evasion case, where the defendant's attorney, while cross-examining the IRS agent, asked: "So you believe the whole amount [of the defendant's income] has been received into court?"

IRS agent's response: "To be honest no, I believe there's probably a lot more income that's out there."

The defendant's attorney then objected and moved for a mistrial based upon the IRS agent's "unresponsive and uninvited intentional inflammatory statement." The district court said the attorney asked the agent's opinion, and the agent gave it to him. Result: conviction.

Posted by: ltg at March 16, 2006 12:49 PM