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May 31, 2006
The Random Thoughts - They Just Keep on Coming
1. A man serving a life sentence for murdering his wife is asking a federal judge to order the state to pay for a sex-change operation. Yesterday, a psychiatrist testified that he believes Robert Kosilek will kill himself if the convicted murderer doesn’t receive the surgery. Is it just me, or is that kind of like a teacher “threatening” to give his students less homework if they keep misbehaving? In the spirit of the Soup Nazi, I hope the judge says, “Mr. Kosilek, NO SEX CHANGE FOR YOU!” Then the judge ought to give the inmate a rope just to show some compassion.
2. Speaking of judges, was there a better fictional one than Judge Smails from Caddyshack? “I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I OWED it to them.”
3. Repeat after me: “If I am in the left lane on a highway and see even a single car pass me, I will get the hell out of the left lane.” Why is this such a difficult concept for people to grasp? I don’t care if you’re going 90 mph. If the person behind you is going 95, you don’t belong in the left lane!
4. Last night, Elizabeth Taylor (the person, not Charlotte's slutty dog) went on Larry King Live to combat recent rumors that she’s nuttier than a bag of trail mix designed specifically for squirrels (i.e., she denied having Alzheimer’s). At one point, Taylor said, “Oh come on, do I look like I’m dying?” Before he could respond, King suffered a massive heart attack and was taken to UCLA Medical Center. When asked about the incident, Taylor said she was thrilled that her good friend was acquitted of child molestation. Then Taylor died. Nothing in this paragraph is true aside from the first two sentences. If you didn’t figure that out on your own, see my earlier advice for parents who brought their children to 10:15 p.m. showings of The Da Vinci Code.
5. Over the weekend, I managed to watch almost all of Notting Hill. It was surprisingly good and funny. Check it out.
6. Charles (he’s no longer “Charlie” - at least, not when he's anchoring the evening news) Gibson’s first two nights at the anchor desk on World News Tonight have gone fairly well. However, note to ABC News President David Westin: Come up with some new graphics. It’s Charlie’s, ugh, I mean Charles’ show now – his name ought to appear on screen right below WORLD NEWS TONIGHT.
7. Finally, apparently washing your front windshield on a highway when there’s a motorcycle directly behind you is not the Christian thing to do. Thanks for teaching me that trick, Papa Fool.
Comments
The only thing I liked about Notting Hill was the perverted, dirty roommate.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at May 31, 2006 08:26 AM
Those idiots who stay in the left lane despite being passed have a death wish. They are the reason I don't drive with a gun.
Posted by: MsPinkSlip at May 31, 2006 08:52 PM
