Thinking Fool

I wonder if what would happen if we (by we I mean, me) just grew a backbone and started talking to our clients this way? hmmmmmm I am quickly reaching that burnout mid-point (the "trough") that might just allow me to throw caution to the wind and start speaking my mind. I'll let you know if I am disbarred.

Keep up the good work.

I'm with you on this one. People who have to write in their problems to an anonymous third-party are totally weak.

That being said, I have this "friend,"....

Dear Fool,

My girlfriend and I like the rough stuff. I find that sometimes, when she is fisting me, our engagement ring gets lodged several inches into my anus, resulting in a painful (and embarassing) visit to the emergency room.

I would prefer she not remove the ring, as it is a symbol of our love and fidelity and I find the abrasive surface arousing.

Do you have any isea about a non-toxic epoxy or glue that can be applied to the ring to prevent removal, but can easily be removed later with an alcohol-based solvent?

It's not Me, it's Ow.

hah, TF, at least you don't sugarcoat anything. that may or may not be a good thing . . . and i wonder if joe wouldn't just settle for a teddy bear or something? sounds like he enjoys cuddling with small creatures.

jason, i don't mean to take this one away from TF, the eminently superior advice-giver, but . . . if your gf has two hands, maybe she could just use the other one?

If TF doesn't mind, I'd like to field one.

Dear It's Not Me, It's Ow,

Do you live in Utah, or is your girlfriend part of a multiple marriage culture? If the answer to both of these questions is no, then there's a good chance that your girlfriend has a hand that does not have an engagement ring. For example, if she wears that ring on her right hand, then take a close look at the left hand.

Also, make sure that the hand lacking the engagement ring can be clenched into a fist. Plug away! And thanks for writing.

hm. i missed the becoming-aroused-by-the-ring bit. i guess my suggestion - use the other hand won't prove satisfactory.

i bet TF has an acceptable solution, though. or, neel's fist suggestion might work.

neel's fist suggestion might work

In any other context, that would be a typo.

Dear It's Not Me, It's Ow,

Dr. Laura would be able to answer your question better than I can (and she's got the photos to prove it). Between 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. Eastern Time, give her a call at 1-800-D-R-L-A-U-R-A.

Short of that, I heard Elmer's does wonders.

~Fool

I feel dirty now.

I have read some of these answers and ideas for your problem. I think the best solution is to change your method of arousal. A big black cock will give you the same stimulation without costing you half of your income and your freedom.

Dear Fool,

Solving this problem is very easy. She's trying to make sense out of Joe's relationship with his cats. She’s even drawing a line in the sand. Given that choice, the cats will win. She needs to keep in mind those cats are his kids. What she needs to do is instead of trying to understand her divided relationship with Joe; is to have a better understanding of how Joe’s cats think. They will always sleep in the same room with Joe. Put them out of the room and they will just bang on the door all night. What they want is to be near Joe and high off the floor. Cats like to look down on things. Such arrogant creatures they are. Put a couple carpet wrapped pedestals near the window in your bedroom. They won’t bother you all night. They’ll be to busy looking at birds and other critters that come by the glass. Then all she has to do is make sure Joe is pretty sleepy for the rest of the evening.

Good night.

Brett in Scottsdale…

I think Pretty's suggestion is the best one so far.