Thinking Fool

They said in the news today that this guy had lobster and butterfly shrimp for his last meal, plus a slice of strawberry cheesecake for dessert. Now maybe it's because I'm already of the opinion that capital punishment is just grotesque and we should get rid of it, but the whole last meal thing strikes me as being an extra jab of cruelty. "Oh, did you like that lobster? did you enjoy those shrimp? is your stomach full now? are you satisfied? great, time to kill you."

Please don't take that as meaning I have any sympathy for the criminal himself, though. I definitely recall that time when Gainesville was terrorized, and reading about the murders, and it was all horrifying. Still is. If there is a hell, I hope that guy is there now.

If there is a hell, I hope that guy is there now.

Maybe he and Ted Bundy can play cards together down there.

Dude. Was he the guy who committed the grisly murders on the University of FL Gainesville campus? I thought they never caught that guy..

Teahouse,

That'd be the one! They caught him and killed him! Hoorah.

~TF

Have you ever sat down and thought about what your last meal will be? I'm a bit envious of the death sentenced in that regard, they know what their last meal is going to be, and can go out in style. My luck is that I will die still having "flaming hot cheeto" dust on my fingers and a half empty bottle of Mr. Pibb.

In any event I have worked out my last meal menu. If any of you want to kill me, for strictly business reasons, feel free to serve me the following before you pop a cap in my ass:

Appetizer:

In my opinion, appetizers are often the best part of the menu, so choosing a single one is diabolical, but I don't want to be greedy here, and I think it is important to start out light so I have room for the substance of the meal to come. You can't really go wrong with seafood here, but shrimp is a bit pedestrian and kind of overplayed for a last meal:

Smoked salmon with capers on fresh backed pumpernickel wedges.

A shout out to my Hebrew roots without all the heaviness associated with bagels.

Salad:

Who doesn't like a nice salad? Some argue that since it is your last meal you should forego the veggies to make room for the more fattening treats. After all, it's not like you need to worry about your wasteline or health at this point. A properly prepared salad can be a feast for the taste buds and serve as a counterpoint to a nice appetizer:

Baby leaf spinach, shallots, mandarin orange and crumbled gorgonzola with a raspberry dressing.

Probably a bit on the sweet side, but the fresh shallots should add a nice tart counterbalance to the orange and raspberry flavors.

Intermezzo:

For those who don't know the intermezzo is a small course after the salad and before the main meal designed to cleanse the pallet. It usually consists of an orange sherbert:

Blueberry sherbet.

I like orange fine, but I like blueberry better, and I just had oranges in my last course. I like blueberries.

Main course:

I hate to be pedestrian here, but you really can't go wrong with meat and potatoes. Your last meal is not a time to be adventurous, stick with what you know you like:

1. 12 oz prime rib cooked medium rare.
2. Sweet potatoes soufflé
3. Corn on the cob

Very Midwestern meat and potatoes, but satisfying and delicious.

Dessert:

There can be only one:

Fried Chocolate pecan pie covered in homemade vanilla ice cream.

There was a place in New Orleans (before the flood) called the Camilla Grille that made this. How good is this pie? If I had to choose between brought repeatedly to orgasm by Natalie Portman and eating this pie, I would choose the pie.

your meal sounds tasty. Of course you would choose the dessert over Natalie Portman.

She is very small and elfish, plus as a jewish woman she would satisfy you once and then make you buy her tons of shit and be on her beck and call before she touches you ever again.

I wonder how it works with those last minute governor pardons, does the guy now owe the state the money for the free last meal he got? maybe not the cost of the whole meal, but the marginal cost over his normal meal in jail?

No significant loss to mankind apparently. I would even go so far to say it was a blessing.

As a criminal defense atty with strong liberal leanings I can only say: gah! WTF are you people talking about?

But, never mind me. Carry on.

Just found your blog, sof ofrgive me for going off topic. The following is the smartest thing I've read about that entire incident:

When a plane crashes into a building and we find out that the pilot didn't call out to Allah in the final seconds of the flight, I'd say we received some good news, all things considered.

Well done