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November 20, 2006
Playing at a Theater Near You...
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
The Gist: I don’t have any idea how to explain this movie. If you haven’t heard of it by now, you’re an idiot.
What Would Have Made this Movie Better: Even though the movie clocked in under 90 minutes, the last 20 minutes seemed long, very long (as in Shaq in the locker room long). Thus, I would have cut 15 minutes from the total runtime. Aside from that and the nonexistent plot, I have no complaints. The movie certainly isn’t for everyone (see, e.g. Mama Fool), but for most males and a plurality of females, expect to laugh, laugh, laugh, and laugh some more.
Who Should See This: Fans of Da Ali G Show, all college students, and anybody who wants to be up on the latest pop culture smash.
The Verdict: A- (for the nearly non-stop laughter).
The Queen
The Gist: A behind-the-scenes look at how the Royal Family, especially Queen Elizabeth II, dealt with Princess Diana’s death.
What Would Have Made this Movie Better: If it were remotely interesting, that certainly would have helped. This one is a snoozer, literally. I fell asleep an hour in after resigning myself to the fact that paint would be more fun to watch than this film.
Who Should See This: If you’re collecting social security, are obsessed with the Royal family, and are in need of a dark theater to help facilitate a long afternoon nap, then see this one ASAP!
The Verdict: D- (the acting is too stellar to warrant an F).
Babel
The Gist: (1) A young Moroccan village boy takes a rifle, shoots at a tour bus, and manages to hit an American tourist in the chest; (2) a deaf-mute Japanese teenage girl struggles to deal with the death of her mother and can’t seem to get laid no matter what she does; (3) a middle-aged Mexican nanny brings two young American kids to Mexico for her son’s wedding and has a hell of a time getting them back to the United States. Sound disjointed? Well, it is; that’s the point, I think. As is customary in these types of movies, everything ties together (somewhat) at the end.
What Would Have Made this Movie Better: The deaf-mute storyline should have been eliminated. It didn’t add much, especially the gratuitous beaver shots. With that stated, the man who played the Japanese father was excellent, as were Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, and just about everyone else in the film, including the actors who portrayed life in the small, remote Moroccan villages. Unfortunately, the plots just weren’t compelling enough to keep me interested the whole time.
Who Should See This: If you loved Traffic, you’ll probably like this. But consider yourself warned, in the spirit of Senator Lloyd Bentsen, I’ve seen Traffic. In fact, I saw Traffic in a movie theater. Babel, you’re no Traffic.
The Verdict: If the Japanese storyline had been cut, I would have given this movie a B. As it stands, this one warrants a C.
Little Children
The Gist: A hunky stay-at-home dad who has accomplished nothing after law school meets a supposedly homely, unhappy stay-at-home mom. The hunky daddy and “homely” mommy end up playing cover the banana while their children enjoy daily naps. Oh, there’s also a convicted child molester living in the neighborhood (with his mother) and a retired cop whose sole mission in life is to make the child molester’s life a living hell.
What Would Have Made this Movie Better: A sex scene with Jennifer Connelly (the hunky dad’s wife), another sex scene with Jennifer Connelly, and perhaps one more sex scene with Jennifer Connelly. Also, even though the child molester played a huge role in the book (so I’m told), that storyline didn’t add much to the film (kind of like how Christopher Darden didn’t add much to the O.J. Simpson prosecution). Other than that, this one is pretty good.
Who Should See This: If you’re bored one afternoon and want to see a movie, this one will certainly do. It feels a tad long at times, but is interesting enough to keep your attention from start to finish. I don’t want to read the book, but am glad I saw the film.
The Verdict: B+.
Comments
Fool--
While I agree with your reviews 90% of the time, I think you're way off on The Queen. The only thing you got right on this is the stellar acting. It's a movie that provides great insight into the royal family and British political life to an American audience that doesn't have a clue (and, granted, may not care). If you don't find (British) politics remotely interesting, this film will bore you, but otherwise it's a great study in politics and humanity (and how they collide).
Posted by: (m) at November 19, 2006 11:31 PM
(m), I think Leslie Nielsen said it best. "No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts." You're right - if you want insight into the royal family, this is a movie for you. For me, each time the media starts blabbering about the royals, I either start touching myself or change the channel. Here's to hoping the current queen lives forever so we don't have to go through a long period of the American media wasting time getting all excited about power being transferred from her to Princess Charles, a man who couldn't get elected as a local dog catcher even if he ran unopposed. With that stated, it was interesting to see how Blair was portrayed in his initial days as Prime Minister.
Posted by: Fool at November 20, 2006 06:52 AM
i agree with the fool on this one, and i usually like long, slow british movies. i think the princess di interviews are much more compelling if one wants to gain insight into her life.
Posted by: gator girl at November 20, 2006 01:17 PM
I think Leslie Nielsen said it best. "No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts."
Hot damn, that was funny.
Posted by: Neel Mehta at November 20, 2006 05:55 PM
The fact that Kate Winslet is supposed to be considered homely is ruining whatever self-esteem I have left.
Posted by: Chloe at November 20, 2006 06:01 PM
