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January 03, 2007
An Open Letter to Waiters and Waitresses
Dear Restaurant Servers of America,
Perhaps I have an invisible tattoo on my forehead that only you can read. Perhaps that tattoo indicates that I am only worthy of second-rate attention and service. Why else do you consistently fail to bring me free “extras,” such as bread and water when all the other tables in your restaurants proudly display such items? I am certainly not overweight – so assuming I’m on a no-carb diet is implausible to say the least. Although I don’t often wear a tux or even a tie, I also do not dress in clothing that would cause you and your fellow colleagues to contemplate whether I will try to pay my bill with food stamps. Whether it’s the Cheesecake Factory or Ruth’s Chris or Matchbox or the local Soup Kitchen, I am consistently perplexed why I don’t get what others get. And yet, I always end up tipping you at least 20% in an effort to buck the stereotype that younger people are crappy tippers. One of my resolutions for the year 2007 is to rethink my philosophy and start rewarding poor service the good-old fashioned way – by telling your managers that I saw you urinate in two of the ketchup bottles.
Sincerely,
Thinking Fool
Comments
This happens to me all the time. I think we're supposed to ask for the free stuff now.
Posted by: donna at January 4, 2007 02:25 AM
My theory: I blame fat Americans (of which I am one). We have gorged ourselves on free breadsticks/olive oil/ other assorted crap to the point where we can barely wedge ourselves into doors. Restaurants are being criticized for not offering "portion control" because fatty's like myself cant push ourselves away from the table. As a result restaurants are trying to serve less food so they won't be accused of clogging Americans arteries any more than they have already.
The result - less food for normal sized folk.
Posted by: over_educated at January 4, 2007 07:52 AM
Maybe it's a style thing? When I look ominous and forbidding they always fall over themselves to bring me freebies ;-)
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at January 4, 2007 10:53 AM
over_educated,
If all freebies were eliminated, fine with me. However, when everybody else gets bread and water refilled at regular intervals while I'm left with nothing, your theory sort of evaporates.
LisaB, I was dressed in semi-ominous clothing on New Year's Eve - enough to at least look not slacker-like. They must have watched Willy Wonka right before serving me. "You GET NOTHING! You LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!"
Posted by: Thinking Fool at January 4, 2007 08:58 PM
I went to Cheesecake Factory today and when the waitress asked me if I wanted some bread, I thought of this post, haha.
Posted by: My So-Called Law School at January 4, 2007 11:10 PM
It's not about the clothing, it's about the look on your face. Practice looking like a tough guy in the mirror, and I semi-guarantee your service will improve.
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at January 6, 2007 10:49 AM
