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January 19, 2007
Racing against People Who Have No Idea There's a Race! (or How to make Your Subway Commute More Fun!)
One way I make the morning commute more interesting is by pretending I am a champion “thoroughbred” racing against other “thoroughbreds” (i.e. fellow Metro passengers) to see who can get through the fare gates first. I realize this sounds completely moronic, but if you start internally calling the action and imagining that you’re racing other passengers, it can be quite amusing.
“AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME... Thinking Fool is closing fast on the outside...”
My win-loss record is impeccable, largely because no one else but me knows there is any sort of race going on. (That and I also will sometimes move the finish line if I’m not faring as well as I’d like.)
Well yesterday, an awful thing happened.
I lost.
And I didn’t lose to just anyone.
I lost to a woman in a wheelchair. And it wasn't even a defeat, it was a complete thrashing.
Seeking solace, I immediately left a voicemail for a fellow law school grad, who recently admitted that he too races people during his daily commute on the Metro. I was curious if he had ever seen this woman.
“I definitely have seen her. She's like Mario Andretti. Unbeatable. I raced her once on a sidewalk and she humiliated me. All the while displaying visible anger at the true pedestrians who were walking at a normal pace in her path.”
Frankly, that made me feel a lot better.
Comments
heh. hehehehehehehehe.
Posted by: Harmless Error at January 19, 2007 08:52 PM
yeah, but is her wheelchair electric? because that just screams unfair advantage. you should at least be able to use rollerblades, or a motorized scooter, in that case.
Posted by: LM at January 19, 2007 09:32 PM
A woman in a wheelchair beat you?
Was it an electric wheelchair, or was she actually pushing the wheels with her arms?
Posted by: teahouseblossom at January 19, 2007 11:07 PM
It was an electric wheelchair. However, that doesn't lessen the shame I feel. On the other hand, it IS the Ferrari of electric wheel chairs. There's no way it comes off the assembly line going that fast. She definitely took it to a shop to get them to spice it up.
Posted by: Fool at January 20, 2007 10:05 AM
did they paint flames on the side? that would be kick-ass.
Posted by: LM at January 20, 2007 05:07 PM
ROFLMAO!
I can't comment because I'm laughing too hard at you guys getting your asses whupped ;-)
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at January 21, 2007 09:00 AM
Hahaha I race people without them knowing it sometimes, too.
Posted by: My So-Called Law School at January 21, 2007 04:47 PM
Oh, crap. I was crying over Bauer a second ago and now I'm crying from laughter.
You are the man. Period.
Posted by: The BLS at January 21, 2007 11:41 PM
The Ferrari of wheelchairs? Like, a Jazzy?
Posted by: Meg at January 22, 2007 05:19 AM
