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February 16, 2007
The Blonde and the Horse
Anna Nicole Smith is dead, and I don’t give a damn.
Anna Nicole Smith’s son is dead, and I don’t give a damn about that either.
If the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby turns out to be a horse, then I’ll give a damn. (That’d also make for an interesting Lifetime movie, don’t you think?)
Interior of a a barn in Texas
Anna Nicole: (stroking her hair) What’s your name, handsome?
Horse: (expressionless)
Anna Nicole: (stroking horse’s hair) I asked you what your name is, cutie.
Horse: (blinking quickly)
Anna Nicole: (snorting a line of cocaine) Well, if you won’t tell me, I’ll just call you Senor Caballo. What do you think about that, Senor?
Horse: (blinking quickly)
Anna Nicole: (taking off blouse) You know, you sure are a good lookin horse, Senor.
Horse: (expressionless)
Anna Nicole: (taking off jeans) But I bet you hear that all the time, huh?
Horse: (expressionless)
Anna Nicole: (taking off bra) You know, my 90-year-old dead husband always used to tell me he wanted to do it doggie style. Isn’t that weird? Don’t ya’ll think that’s weird, Senor?
Horse: (expressionless)
Anna Nicole: (taking off panties) You wouldn’t ask me to do it doggie style, would you, Senor?
Horse: (expressionless)
Anna Nicole: (moving over to the horse) Do you want to put your carrot in me, Senor?
Horse: (smiling)
Anna Nicole: You just have to promise to pull out, okays? I didn’t take no birth control today.
Horse: I’m a fucking horse, lady. I’m not pulling out. And my name is Dexter Alexander, not Senor Caballo.
Fade to black. Cut to Boniva commercial.
Comments
LOL. Where do you come up with some of these things?
Posted by: (m) at February 16, 2007 10:02 AM
HAHAHAAHA - TOOOOO FUNNY!
Posted by: Scarlett at February 16, 2007 10:43 AM
now THAT is some Anna Nicole coverage I would watch!
Posted by: M at February 16, 2007 01:32 PM
Now THAT was some quality writing. I'm impressed - good work.
Posted by: jeh at February 16, 2007 02:40 PM
You are a sick, sick man. I love it.
Posted by: Harmless Error at February 16, 2007 08:46 PM
Yeah, you're even more twisted than I thought.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at February 16, 2007 09:30 PM
Giddy. Up.
Posted by: thenambypamby at February 17, 2007 12:41 PM
(m), I don't know. They just randomly enter my noggin.
Scarlett, jeh, and Harmlesss Error, Thank you!
M, me too!
TeaHouse, That's a good thing, right?
And Namby, you win the prize for the most brilliant comment on this post!
Posted by: Fool at February 20, 2007 12:19 AM
Either "Giddy Up" by 'N Sync or "Pony" by Ginuwine should be playing in the background as this scene is taking place.
Posted by: My So-Called Law School at February 20, 2007 12:48 AM
Anyone seen the "clown" video of Anna Nicole that just surfaced? Some messed up stuff...
Posted by: over_educated at February 21, 2007 08:29 AM
