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May 23, 2007
Making Alexander Graham Bell Proud
Thinking Fool: (To Coworker #3) “I’m going to crank call the Boss’ New Secretary.”
Coworker #3: “What are you going to say?”
Thinking Fool: “I have no idea.”
And I didn’t have any idea. Nevertheless, I picked up my cell phone, blocked my number, dialed, and waited.
Boss’ New Secretary: “[Name of Federal Organization], Mr. [Last Name of Boss]’ office.”
Thinking Fool: (In a very deep, almost Barry White-esque voice) “Yeah, is, uh, Mr. [Boss’ Last Name] there?”
Boss’ New Secretary: “He’s stepped out of the office for a moment. May I take a message?”
Thinking Fool: “Well, you see, I got his dog (drawn out). And I don’t know exactly what he want me to do with it.”
Boss’ New Secretary: (Confused) “Umm, may I have your name, sir?”
Thinking Fool: “Um, yeah, sure. My name is Johnson James.”
Boss’ New Secretary: (Still confused) “Okay.”
Thinking Fool: “Well, here’s the deal, ma’am. I’m going to give it to you straight. We’re thinking about putting the dog down. You hear me?”
Boss’ New Secretary: (All of a sudden getting nervous as hell) “Umm, well, I don’t know anything about that.”
Thinking Fool: (Deciding to turn up the heat) “Well, all I’m saying is, again, I’ll be straight up with you. If you'll give me the authorization, we’ll put the dog down right now, no questions asked.”
Boss’ New Secretary: “No! No! No! No! No! ABSOLUTELY NOT! I will NOT give you authorization to do anything to that dog.”
Thinking Fool: (Speaking just “off-mic,” ensuring that the Boss’ New Secretary could hear) “Yeah, she said we can go ahead and put the dog down. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, just do it.”
Boss’ New Secretary: “Wait, wait, wait. I did not say such a thing.”
Click.
Fast forward about five minutes.
Boss’ New Secretary: (Said in a much more somber tone) “[Name of Federal Organization], Mr. [Last Name of Boss]’ office.”
Thinking Fool: “Hey ma’am. It’s Johnson James again.”
Boss’ New Secretary: “Sir, I absolutely did not give you any authorization to do anything to that animal! You are not to touch it or do anything to it! Do you understand me?”
Thinking Fool: “Oh, ma’am, it’s too late for that. I’m just calling back to find out what you want us to do with the dog’s body.”
Don’t worry. I let her know it was a joke. She vowed to get me back. My boss thought the whole thing was hysterical! Developing...
Comments
Oh, dear..I sense some revenge coming your way very soon..I'd be careful if I were you!
Posted by: teahouseblossom at May 23, 2007 06:58 AM
LOL! Oh, that's great. On the spot too. Bravo.
Posted by: Philosofer at May 23, 2007 06:59 PM
LOL I love crank calling people, especially unsuspecting friends.
Posted by: angela at May 24, 2007 12:54 AM
I like your motto, TF. Other people ARE dumb, including sideburn man!
Posted by: buttercup at May 24, 2007 09:46 PM
The motto is actually the only thing on this blog that I didn't come up with! Hope you like the rest. :)
Posted by: Fool at May 24, 2007 10:38 PM
I was on the receiving end of some crank calls from my coworkers. To get them back, I pretended I filed a compliant against them with the Director and refused to talk to them throughout lunch (it was a small office). They were so apologetic and were scared shitless.
HA! It was fun watching them shaking in their boots.
Posted by: Ming the Merciless at May 29, 2007 12:43 AM
I haven't crank called in years. That was an entertaining read. Nice blog, by the way.
Posted by: mm at June 6, 2007 10:09 AM
