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May 29, 2007
Playing at a Theater Near You
Fracture
The Gist: Anthony Hopkins, a wealthy businessman, finds out his wife is having an affair, so he decides to go O.J. on her ass, minus the near decapitation thing. (Hopkins uses a gun, not a knife, unlike that imbecile former football player/actor/murderer, who is somehow walking around when he should be enjoying the virtues of sodomy courtesy of a group of guys named Bubba, Bigger Bubba, and “Elephant Rod.”) At his arraignment, Hopkins informs the judge that he is going to represent himself. The prosecutor (Ryan Gosling) is a hotshot young attorney who is weeks away from leaving the L.A. District Attorney’s Office to take a job at some supposedly amazing law firm. Hopkins starts toying with Gosling in and out of the courtroom and proves that once in awhile a pro se litigant can be an effective showman. After several stupid twists and turns that are about as compelling as Dennis Kucinich’s presidential campaign, by the grace of God, the credits roll and the movie ends.
What Would Have Made this Movie Better: The acting is fine, but the story just isn’t gripping... AT ALL. During one scene, we’re supposed to care whether a woman is taken off life support. Apparently, the director wants us to be on the edge of our seat. Did you care when Terry Schiavo was taken off life support? If not, you sure as hell won’t care whether the woman in the movie is taken off life support.
Who Should See This: Nobody.
The Verdict: Awful (though Anthony Hopkins has some neat looking devices in his office and home that I’ve never seen before, so those were nice). D.
Comments
Glad I didn't see it then.
I wish Anthony Hopkins would stop playing the same character all the time. It would be interesting to see him play a weak role, like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.
Posted by: Ming the Merciless at May 29, 2007 12:36 AM
My "boyfriend" saw it and said it was AMAZING! What a dumbass.
Posted by: CM at May 29, 2007 06:21 PM
I totally almost went to see this over the weekend. Thank goodness I made the better choice.
Posted by: Harmless Error at May 29, 2007 10:49 PM
I heard it got good reviews, though. But after reading yours, I won't go see it. I generally hate legal dramas b/c 98% of them are dumb and the producers don't even bother to hire legal consultants to make it plausible.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at May 29, 2007 11:12 PM
Ming, agreed about Hopkins.
CM, I bet your "boyfriend" likes that you use quotes when you refer to him as your "boyfriend."
Harmless, Like Bill O'Reilly, I'm looking out for you.
THB, I join your comment 100%.
Posted by: Fool at May 29, 2007 11:36 PM
