« For Some Idiotic Reason, Still Playing at Some Theaters... | Main | "Those Sons-of-Bitches Insulted Our Religion Again. I know, Let's Burn Something!" »

June 11, 2007

An Open Letter to Whoever is in Charge at NASA

Dear Whoever is in Charge at NASA,

Last week, Bob Barker taped his final episode as host of The Price is Right. Before you start thinking that this is as relevant to NASA as a study chronicling the percentage of people who shave the area surrounding their genitals, let me explain.

You currently have an engineer working for you named "M.D." According to the Associated Press, M.D. flew from Houston to California to attend Barker’s final taping. That, in and of itself, is not remotely problematic. After all, people fly to lots of places for lots of reasons, some good, some not so good. Some fly to foreign countries to fondle children. (Not good.) Others fly to local destinations for family reunions. (Good.) Some fly across the country to take bar exams. (Good, even if it doesn’t feel good at the time.) And still, some fly to neighboring states to get rectal examinations from trusted physicians. (Good, unless the trusted physician uses a fist (or wrench) when he should use a finger, in which case, I’d be skeptical about remaining trusting.)

What is problematic is what M.D. told the Associated Press. He said, “I'd rather win a couch from Bob Barker than a million dollars from Howie Mandel.”

Let me repeat that. He’d “rather win a couch from Bob Barker than a million dollars from Howie Mandel.”

In the words of GE Friend, "Ummmmmmmmmmmm!" Bob Barker is a very likeable man, but at this juncture, he has 83-year-old testicles. Although that’s not remotely relevant to the purpose of this letter, I think it’s a fact worth throwing out just to keep things real.

The point is you have a man working for you who should be incredibly logical, smart, etc., but who appears to be a complete idiot. Please terminate his employment immediately so we have a chance against China.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Thinking Fool

Posted by fool on June 11, 2007 12:19 AM

Comments

Would you rather have a nice dinner with Audrey Hepbern or get a Mazarati for hanging out an evening with Paris hilton?

Posted by: uber_jason at June 11, 2007 07:03 AM

I disagree TF. I've worked with Bob Barker and he was a lovely man. And he's a tv legend. And anyone that can stay on the air for that long gets major kudos in my book.

Howie Mandel is quite annoying actually. I think he is a bit too impressed with himself.

Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at June 11, 2007 08:30 AM

uber_jason, Isn't Audrey dead?

LisaB, I love Bob Barker! I am not arguing that Howie Mandel is "better" than Bob Barker. I'm contending that a million dollars trumps receiving a couch from nearly anybody, Bob Barker included. But, different strokes for different folks.

Posted by: Fool at June 11, 2007 09:12 AM

Unless it was a diamond encrusted couch.

Posted by: Corporate Whore at June 11, 2007 01:39 PM

I'm still thinking about those 83-year old balls.

Gross.

The price is wrong, bitch. :)

Posted by: Faith at June 11, 2007 05:49 PM

That guy from NASA no doubt uses twice the amount of toilet paper than normal people from NASA

Posted by: leaf at June 11, 2007 06:17 PM

Just think..NASA also employed that crazy female astronaut that wore those diapers.

Posted by: teahouseblossom at June 12, 2007 12:53 AM