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August 14, 2007
“Grandma, what big eyes you have” (and LOTS of other STUPID Random Things)
Little Red Riding Hood was a moron. It’d be understandable if Helen Keller had trouble differentiating her grandmother from a wolf. But Little Red Riding Hood, let’s just say if I’m a hip-hop artist, I’m writing a song about her.
One of the best books I’ve ever read is Silence of the Lambs. I read it several years ago and have an itching to give it another look. When I went on Amazon to order it, I was a little surprised to see the paperback version ranging in price from $8.55 (seems reasonable) to $10,000.99 (seems a tad on the high side, don’t you think?). No, the second amount is NOT a typo! Click here if you don’t believe me! Needless to say, if anyone orders a book from that particular seller, the person should be shot. I might have to give the seller a call this week. If I do, any ideas for some good questions?
You know you’ve spotted classy when you see a 20-something drunk male on the metro pull a cigar out of his pocket while sporting a brown cigarette behind his ear. Even though I don’t swing that way, it took all my willpower to keep from trying to give him a Lewinsky right then and there. How attractive. Sometimes I’m so proud of my generation.
One of the best things about summer ending is that Hollywood will start releasing good movies again. [Smiley face!] Of course, then it will get dark outside a lot sooner. [Frown face.]
I’ve always wanted to see a Little League World Series game in person. Perhaps this will be the year.
Mitt Romney strikes me as a complete douche bag. Has anyone met him and been convinced that he is genuine? Coworker #3 met John Edwards recently and thought he was the real deal. He certainly doesn't come across that way on television.
What will Republicans do now that Tommy Thompson dropped out of the race? That’s like the McDonald’s Corporation losing a minimum wage employee who worked the graveyard shift at an underperforming store while simultaneously performing sexual acts on cockroaches. Okay, so maybe it's not quite like that.
How much are you supposed to spend on a wedding gift these days? I’m positive I spent more than enough on Coworker #2, but don’t really know the “appropriate” amount. I can't believe ball gags cost as much as they do.
A bunch of new employees are joining my “agency” right now. Very few of them have struck me as people I’d enjoy eating with on a daily basis. Guess it’s a good thing that when September rolls around, I’ll no longer be working where I’m currently working. I will miss a handful of people quite a bit, but cannot wait to move on. Wish I could take my boss with me (and a few coworkers as well).
First Tom... then Merv... Chevy, I'd watch your back if I were you.
Comments
I tend to spend money on people in proportion to how important they are to me. Better friends usually get bigger, better, and/or more expensive gifts (unless I'm going the heartfelt route, in which case the gift could be better but not necessarily more expensive).
Have you looked at the list of things where they're registered at? I have a friend who just got married, and the most expensive thing on their list was like, $30 books (they were registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond).
Posted by: angela at August 14, 2007 06:04 PM
Little Red Riding Hood- Does not her name say it all? Red Hood? She was having her period and wasn't thinking properly. Give that bitch some slack.
Wow, grandma, what a big hairy cock you have.
Posted by: leaf at August 14, 2007 06:50 PM
My dad's rule of thumb is to buy a gift that covers the cost of your dinner and drinks at the wedding. But to do that, you need to have an idea what they are serving, etc.
Also, I don't care what anybody says. Stardust is a fantastic movie. FANTASTIC. I'd see it again and again and again. Robert De Niro, dancing around to Pirates of Penzance, in drag!!in drag!!!
Posted by: lily graypure at August 14, 2007 10:22 PM
I met mitt when he was running for mass. governor. He was a nice enough guy, stopped in the hall to shake my hand and talk to me briefly. It could be because I am so good looking, but nothing really odd struck me about him, i didnt get overwelming doucheness from him.
Wedding Gifts- whatever you gave me was perfect, I have no recollection so it really doesnt matter unless you give like a dollar or 5k it makes no difference at all.
Posted by: pretty at August 15, 2007 12:51 PM
If the twenty something metro man had his collar-popped....fugatabouddit.
Posted by: mm at August 15, 2007 01:28 PM
Who's Chevy? Chevy Chase???? I would be more worried for that old cranky dude who does the editorial at the end of 60 Minutes.
As for wedding gifts, I don't know....cos' I haven't had to buy one in over 10 years. Most of my friends either got pregnant first and then married discretely or never got married at all after the baby came out.
Which reminds me, I need a better class of friends. You free for dinner? :-)
Posted by: ming the merciless at August 15, 2007 05:35 PM
Yeah, I found out last year that I'd totally been stiffing my friends on wedding gifts. The Fiance told me I should be spending at least $100-$150 per head I'm bringing for people I really like. Woops.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at August 18, 2007 09:42 AM
