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August 28, 2007
Senator Craig, About those Rumors...
On June 11, Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) was arrested for entering a Minneapolis airport bathroom in hopes of slipping his snake in a random man’s brown cave. (I realize that’s not exactly what was listed as the formal charge, but from all the stories that are circulating, it’s hard to challenge the notion that Senator Craig entered that bathroom hoping for anything other than, at a minimum, to partake in a good-old fashioned family values-driven game of Milk the Cow).
On August 8, Craig pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge.
Yesterday, the press reported the story.
Here’s my question. Why did it take the press so long to report this? Senator Craig’s arrest took place more than two months ago and his conviction (yes, pleading guilty to a crime results in a “conviction”) occurred nearly three weeks ago. As Ricky might tell Lucy, “Press people, you got some ‘splaining to do!” Seriously! What the hell took so long? (By the way, to this day, a local Los Angeles television station runs I Love Lucy reruns. I’ve seen that show. It’s awful. There should be a consensus on this, yes?)
Senator Craig, of course, is publicly very anti-homosexual, preferring to have people think he’d rather go down on his wife than the vice president. (Dick Cheney did not return ThinkingFool.com’s repeated requests for a comment regarding how he’d react to a statement by Senator Craig expressing a strong desire to treat Vice President Cheney’s little soldier as a lollipop.)
Apparently after the officer arrested Craig for trying to engage in hanky panky in the restroom, the Senator gave the officer a business card and exclaimed, “What do you think about that?”
Although there is uncertainty regarding how the officer responded to Craig’s statement, is there any doubt about what his response should have been?
Officer: “Well, the fact that you’re a United States Senator changes everything!”
Senator Craig: “Oh really, why’s that?” (Smiling)
Officer: “Well, you’re in a hell of a lot more trouble than I originally thought!” (Smiling a bigger smile!)
The moral of the story? If, in public, you’re vehemently anti homosexuality, do your best to refrain from trying to suck random strangers’ cocks in airport bathrooms, unless you're a woman, and then just make sure you run as a Democrat.
Comments
Hhahaha! I love the snakes in a cave ephuamism.
Posted by: mm at August 28, 2007 10:20 AM
Here are more closeted Republican homos in the House than they would like to admit.
Posted by: ming the merciless at August 28, 2007 11:31 AM
He's as manly as Rock Hudson
Posted by: thenambypamby at August 28, 2007 09:06 PM
Can we start calling them the Oral Majority?
Posted by: Harmless Error at August 28, 2007 11:22 PM
the best part about the whole craig thing is the detail the transcript goes into on how to solicit lewd acts while in the public bathroom, provocative and educational.
Posted by: pretty at August 29, 2007 08:12 PM
I feel bad for the undercover cop. What a sucky job, to have to stand around in a men's bathroom all day hoping for someone to hit on you. He must have pissed off his boss.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at August 29, 2007 10:05 PM
