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September 27, 2007
Bob Novak isn’t the Only Reporter in this Town
Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) has decided to stay in office “for now.” That decision didn’t come as a shock to anyone; it has been in the works ever since Craig announced his intention to resign last month. What’s surprising is that President Ahmadinejad’s recent visit to Columbia University actually strengthened Craig’s resolve to remain a U.S. Senator.
Two Senate sources confirm that in addition to trying to withdraw his guilty plea, Craig is in talks with Ahmadinejad about possibly becoming a dual Iranian-American citizen. Apparently, Craig believes that because there are no homosexuals in Iran, by becoming a citizen of that country (while retaining his U.S. citizenship), he’ll finally be able to convince Americans that he prefers the kitty over the poop chute.
When asked to comment on this recent development, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) said, “Look, nothing has changed for me. I still think he should step down. More than anything, however, I just wish the fucker would stop trying to play footsie in the bathroom. I’m not going to suck his cock no matter how many times he taps his feet, and despite his requests, I sure as hell am not going to lobby my constituents to let Larry fuck whichever horse wins the Kentucky Derby next year.”
Comments
Heh. When asked about his stance on certain social issues, Craig responded, "It's a wide stance."
Posted by: teahouseblossom at September 27, 2007 03:25 PM
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell got it all wrong. Larry Craig doesn't want him to suck his dick. It's the other way round.
Posted by: Ming the Merciless at September 29, 2007 08:28 PM
Haha! Fabulous, Ming! (You're not too bad yourself, THB!)
Posted by: Fool at September 29, 2007 09:45 PM
Although I agree with what McConnell said, and I admire his picturesque usage of the English language, I think he should take one for the team. How does he know that he wouldn't favor sucking a cock? At least he would keep it in the Republican party.
Posted by: leaf at October 1, 2007 01:53 PM
This actually confirms something I’ve long suspected, we’re actually being governed by performance artists who are just trying to see what they can get away with. Because there’s no other explanation for this.
Posted by: over_educated at October 2, 2007 07:52 AM
Too funny! I'm loving Mitch ;-)
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at October 2, 2007 06:12 PM
