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September 10, 2007
Monday Musings in May (Yes, I know it's September, but I was going for some Alliteration!)
Here’s a little tip for anyone who flies. If your carry-on bag is protruding from the overhead bin like Shaq’s manhood would be if he were wearing a pair of extra small boxers, the bin will not close no matter how many times you try to slam it. If this isn’t obvious, please do not have any children (or any more children if it’s too late).
Don’t you think the bride and groom should have the option of either kissing each other at the end of the ceremony or having sex in a tent in front of everyone? I’m just saying, it’s 2007, not 1907.
This fall, one of ABC’s sitcoms features those stupid Geico cavemen. How the hell was that project green-lighted before a show starring the Geico Gecko and the Aflac Duck? Heads should roll for that oversight!
Last week, Drudge made a huge deal about Al Gore being spotted getting off a gas-guzzling corporate jet. Oh Lord, I guess all this global warming stuff must be a crock then, right? Dr. Laura had naked pictures of her taken years ago by a former lover. Oh goodness, I guess that nonsense she spouts about not having kids out of wedlock and trying to raise them in a traditional environment is a bunch of malarkey. I understand the world doesn’t like hypocrites, but if a meth-addicted crack-head pleads with high school students to refrain from doing drugs minutes after smoking a pipe, is the druggie’s message any less valid? Me thinks not. I wish people would separate the message from the messenger instead of always playing this bullshit game of “gotcha!” That game should be left for Dr. Huxtable and his family.
In the spirit of the last paragraph, if I’m advising Senator Larry Craig, I tell him to begin a press conference with the following statement: “You know what, I admit it; I like a cock every now and then. That doesn’t change the fact that I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman and that people should refrain from extramarital affairs. So yes, I too have been a ‘dirty, naughty boy.’ Now that the world knows this, the Idaho voters will probably refuse to reelect me in 2008, and that’s certainly their right. I’d prefer they judge me by what I’ve done in the Senate instead of what I’ve done in airport bathrooms, but I can’t control what people think of me anymore than I can control having a wide stance. So, no, I’m not going to resign, and if my colleagues shun me during the last year and change of my current Senate term, then in the words of Don Imus, ‘They can go to hell!’ Are there any questions?”
Have you ever watched any of the Comedy Central Roasts? If not, tell your Tivo to make an appointment for you. The William Shatner one is particularly hilarious! I think a lot of it is available on YouTube!
Hope your week is off to a fabulous start! If not, remember, "Could be worse. Could be raining!"
Comments
Amen.
Posted by: Philosofer at September 10, 2007 07:22 PM
Heh. Those Geico cavemen are really starting to get on my nerves...
Posted by: teahouseblossom at September 10, 2007 09:06 PM
Could be trying to convince my wife I'm not gay and that I was merely trying to pick up a piece of paper from the floor after touching shoes with the guy in the next stall. :-)
Posted by: Ming the Merciless at September 11, 2007 04:37 PM
