« Moronic Monday Musings... | Main | Don't Let them Breed EVER (again) »
October 19, 2007
Impolite Metro Riders: Consider Yourself Warned
Here’s the deal. If I’m polite enough to temporarily get off the metro to ensure that people can deboard the train, then you bastards on the platform need to exercise some common decency and let me get back on the train before you rush the doors like a bunch of imbeciles. Why? Because if you make it difficult for me to get back on the train, I don’t care what it takes; I’ll get back on one way or another just like I did the other night. And when I get back on, I’m going to force my body to think it just ate a gigantic bowl of chili topped with onions and cheese. I’ll fart so hard and stink the train up so badly that you’ll wish your momma would have taught you a few manners. And when you look at me with disgust in your eyes and tell me to stop breaking wind, I’ll look right back at you, and in the words of my favorite random fellow airplane passenger, I'll exclaim, “Fuck you and be quiet!”
Comments
I think I was on your train... you've gotta get that checked out, because no one should smell that bad.
Posted by: Philosofer at October 19, 2007 01:56 AM
This is why I dont take public transportation, traveling among the great unwashed is painful and gay.
Posted by: pretty at October 19, 2007 01:24 PM
I've lost count of the number of times I've almost committed murder on the platform/train/somewhere in between. What I hate most is when there's loads of space in the middle of a train car, and the idiot mass of people stand there crammed by the doors like sheep so no one else can get on.
Pretty, I assume you don't live in a city. Or if you do, you're rich, and therefore I hate you.
Posted by: Harmless Error at October 19, 2007 07:08 PM
I love a big bowl of chilli with onions and cheese just about now. I'm hungry!!
Posted by: ming the merciless at October 19, 2007 11:47 PM
Amen. I hate door crowders, both in and outside the train. I also hate the people who are all, "No, I don't need to sit," and then stand right in front of the seat, immovable and oblivious to the weight-shifting indicators from other people that so clearly say, "Shit or get off the pot, asshole."
Posted by: lily graypure at October 20, 2007 12:22 AM
I'm right there with you. Where the hell are their manners? And I love the ones that run into you HARD and don't say excuse me.
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at October 21, 2007 10:35 AM
Ugh, tonight on my way home I was shoved up against a man who had really bad b.o. and lots of dandruff. It kept sprinkling down on me when the subway train jolted.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at October 22, 2007 09:46 PM
