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December 06, 2007
A random Sampling of my Brain's Thoughts towards the end of this First Week of Decemeber
One of my law school classmates raises a very good point about the 2007-2008 college football season. Do we HAVE to have a National Champion this year? Seriously, this college football season is like the mayoral election in Brewster’s Millions. Why? Because when it comes to choosing a national champion, the correct outcome should be “None of the Above!”
“We don’t want a good principal; we want Mr. Clark!” – That’s my choice for the best backhanded compliment ever uttered in a movie!
Mike Huckabee is starting to surge in the polls? Mike Huckabee? Do we really want another “compassionate conservative” governor with no foreign policy experience to be the Republican presidential nominee? That really has worked out well the last seven years. How about choosing someone WITH foreign policy experience and who actually BELIEVES in fiscal responsibility? John McCain anyone?
Mitt Romney is taking a beating because he’s a Mormon. I really wish we’d leave religion out of politics. I don’t care if someone goes to church every day, believes there are fifty Gods, or doesn’t even believe there’s a God. As long as the person is smart, capable, and has good instincts, that’s enough for me. Obviously if he has a penis, that helps immensely as well. ;-) Oh, and by the way, I think Mitt Romney is a phony douche bag, so he's NOT my choice.
Speaking of presidential stuff, don’t you think on Halloween, the folks at Mount Vernon should take George and Martha Washington out of their tomb(s) and let people see their skeletons?
Martha had kids before she and George started dating. I wonder if they did the nasty before tying the knot. What do you think? Moreover, what were the grooming habits back then? Have any historians researched this issue? I'm sure somebody kept a diary with pertinent information: "And then when my wooden teeth started nibbling her cooch, I was dazzled to see that she had trimmed her womanhood in the shape of that tiny sparrow who visited us each morning on the front porch. It was at that moment that I knew I had married a fucked-up woman, and for that, I will forever be grateful."
Apparently people are dumping loved ones’ ashes overboard on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. These people are idiots.
Do you want to be cremated or buried? I’ve maintained that if I’m the victim of a homicide, I want to be buried to ensure that my body is always available should police ever need evidence to apprehend my killer. Short of that, being burned into ashes will work. In truth, I guess I really don’t care. Do you?
If you had to switch teams for any person in the world, who would it be? I imagine the leading candidates will be Brad, Angelina, the guy who played Sloth in Goonies, etc.
Finally, Pretty, I was tempted to refrain from posting to feel your pee on my hands, but I didn’t want to make you buy an airline ticket just to come all this way to see me. :p
Comments
You are just awesome. It needed to be said.
Posted by: little fish in law school at December 7, 2007 08:35 AM
Now that would making for an interesting Disney ride.. um NOT. Yuck.
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at December 7, 2007 09:23 AM
Huckabee? Romney? McCain? Republicans my ass! They're all Decepticons if you ask me.
As for the choice as to be buried or creamated, there's nothing meaningful about becoming worm food. Thus, I would like have my body cremated until nothing remains but fine particles of ash. And I'd ask my loved ones not to spread my ashes in the wind or dump them in the ocean, but rather to take my ashes an mix them with some sort of expensive lotion (none of that bath and body works crap) which would then be given to a beautiful young woman. That would assure that my last bodily act on this earth would be to be lathered and schmered on some supple young woman's body. And my soul would be at peace.
Posted by: Wiseazzz at December 7, 2007 10:45 AM
Oh, I wouldve been there in 6 hours if only, if only.
I dont understand the worm food comment. Look, the point of me being buried is so that all of my fans followers and loved ones have a place to come visit to deal with the pain they are suffering. I doubt it will make a difference to me if I am buried or cremated unless of course I dont get to attend the resurrection because my body is ash.
I noticed how you didnt mention RUDI! our next president.
Posted by: pretty at December 7, 2007 06:45 PM
Angelina looks like a fish.
I'd go for Jennifer Garner or Rachel McAdams. Boring maybe. But not in my mind.
Posted by: Harmless Error at December 7, 2007 10:54 PM
i feel like angelina is so beautiful, it doesn't even count as switching teams because it is natural for humans to want to be near beauty. On the other hand, I think michael jackson is so awful that going for him WOULD count as switching teams.
Posted by: lily graypure at December 8, 2007 12:31 PM
I'd be a lesbian for Beyonce.
And I like the idea of being cremated. But then again it would be cool to have an entry on findagrave.com.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at December 9, 2007 07:07 PM
