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January 15, 2008
What Would God Do?
I wrote the following very, very, VERY short tale a couple years ago when I started this blog.
“Welcome to heaven!” St. Peter exclaimed. “Better than you imagined, isn’t it?”
Ted rubbed his eyes and looked around. His fingers probed his forehead, but couldn’t find the hole that they knew was there.
“What about all that stuff about not going to heaven if you kill yourself?”
“God rewards the truly unselfish, Master Bundy.”
So what do you think, if you believe in heaven and redemption and all those things, does God send a would-be serial killer/rapist to hell for killing himself before committing those horrendous crimes or give him an express pass to heaven for killing himself instead of destroying countless innocent lives? I’m hopeful it's the "express pass" option. Aren't you?
Comments
Fool,
I saw an atrocity today.
I sometimes delude myself into thinking that healthy living and longevity are worthy pursuits and today was one such day. I woke up early and walked the 4 blocks to the Capital City Golds Gym where I was to start my day with a good workout. Everything seemed fine at first. However, as soon as I entered the locker room I saw what I can only believe was a grey yeti standing completely nude in front of the sink. My eyes still sting from the sight of it all. Fool, I fully recognize that I'm not the most liberal in my interpretation of locker room etiquette, but some acts are simply egregious! What is it about the locker room that invites aging baby boomers to strut around and "air dry"? What kind of sick bastard just puts on his socks then proceeds to walk around and hold conversations with people while applying hair gel and combing the refugee hairs remaining on his head after the war with male pattern baldness? Why do these bastards hate underwear and decency and towels?
Posted by: Wiseazzz at January 15, 2008 09:52 AM
I believe that we are mere mortals and can not comprehend the lord's plan.
Posted by: pretty at January 15, 2008 01:14 PM
This would be a good rule.
I think we all know some horrible people that are fairly certain to continue to be horrible throughout their mortal existence. If say, someone were to take an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, and go from office to office, pumping round after round into horrible these colleagues and co-workers, I assume that they would qualify for the same exemption.
Posted by: ugly (but prettier than pretty!) at January 15, 2008 04:19 PM
If you're a Protestant, it doesn't matter what he does, just as long as he thinks the right thing.
Posted by: lily graypure at January 15, 2008 09:49 PM
