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February 07, 2008
Thursday Thoughts
Why does Congress care whether Roger Clemens used steroids? On the other hand, sure would be cool if his testimony eventually led to perjury charges!
Shaquille O’Neal is now officially a Phoenix Sun. If Shaq ever pulls his thing out of his shorts during a game, he could single-handedly cause a solar eclipse. Seriously, Arizona has lots of snakes. I’d be shocked if any of those snakes are longer than Shaq’s manhood, including the Diamondback Rattlesnake. In fact, Suns ownership better buy a bunch of ceramic tiles because the owners are going to have to replace a ton of them if Shaq plans to shower with his teammates. Each time his tallywhacker hits the floor of the shower, the tiles will immediately chip and most likely fracture. Hopefully none of his teammates will accidentally choke if Shaq’s weiner ends up getting tangled around one of their necks (like a python).
To the twenty-something-year-old man getting off the metro yesterday evening, the Hitler ‘stache really isn’t doing you any favors.
In the last decade, has there been one man under the age of 30 who has looked good with a mustache?
At what point will people stop caring about Britney Spears? I reached that point a long time ago.
Do you think Gisele comforted Tom after the Super Bowl on Sunday? I just read somewhere that she's no longer with Victoria's Secret.
From Coworker #1, “I think the homeless newspaper would sell significantly better if its content was porn.”
Speaking of Coworker #1, he and I walked by the White House on our way to lunch yesterday. We spotted one of the idiots who try to get you to sign-up for something several feet in front of us. Before he could get a word out, I looked at him and said, “Uzzuh buzzuh arjou rahjee kwristo.” He didn’t bother us.
They might be God’s children too, but that doesn’t mean I have to like homeless people. The excessive, rude panhandling really is starting to get old. If I wanted that, I would have moved to San Francisco.
Comments
Yeah, I bet Shaq's ding dong is really small.
And way to head off the canvassing guy in front of the White House. I'm going to try that next time I see one of those people.
And I'm sure Tom found solace in Gisele's arms after his devastating loss.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at February 7, 2008 12:28 PM
I really dig mustaches. It's probably a passing fancy, but eh.
I'm mad at Gisele for taking back her promise to run through the streets of New York naked if the Patriots lose. Now that would have provided comfort to millions of disapointed fans.
After being screamed at by a homeless man at the tender age of 11, I have to say I'm not their biggest fan, either.
Posted by: mm at February 7, 2008 12:42 PM
Yes, Giselle quit Victoria Secret. But she gained Yves St Laurent, Versace and a host of other campaigns.
As for Britney....wait, she's still alive? Or worst, relevant?
You are the second str8 guy (you're str8, right?) I've heard pondering the size of Shaq's manhood today! Str8 guys have such penis-envy issues!!
Posted by: ming the merciless at February 7, 2008 05:49 PM
Haven't seen Tom Brady around the streets of New York the past few days. I'm shocked ;-)
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at February 8, 2008 03:18 PM
