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April 16, 2008
Absolutely Random Predictions
1. Dr. Phil will be indicted within the next three years…
2. The Republicans will maintain control of the White House…
3. My antipathy for Kobe Bryant will continue to wane…
4. My hostility towards Roman Polanski will not…
(I no longer think Kobe raped that woman in Colorado, whereas I’m certain that lowlife Polanski did in fact rape a girl, a 13-year-old one to be precise. Then he fled the country instead of facing the music and continues to dodge justice to this day. It’s really too bad Charlie’s family knocked off Polanski’s wife instead of him.)
5. The Detroit Tigers will win more than ten baseball games this season…
6. Hillary Clinton will run for governor of New York…
7. Her husband will continue to tarnish his reputation, but he’ll get some good tang in the process…
8. Deal or No Deal will continue to entertain me, especially since I can fast forward to the end of the game and breeze through commercials thanks to Tivo…
9. NBC will cancel 1 vs. 100 (it had so much promise)…
10. I will find a way to keep outside light from waking me up in the morning…
11. Papa Fool and I will go to Vegas in 2008 and we will win so much money that we’ll end up owning the Bellagio and the Venetian…
12. Mama Fool and I will go somewhere else…
13. As fun as it would be, the Lakers and Celtics will not play each other in the 2008 NBA Finals…
14. The Department of Homeland Security will keep doing practically nothing to protect our borders regardless of who wins this year’s presidential contest…
15. Jay Leno will host a late-night talk show on ABC…
16. Current Solicitor General Paul Clement will be nominated to be a Supreme Court Justice…
17. Harry Smith will anchor the CBS Evening News once Katie Couric says sayonara…
18. At least once a week, I will continue to feel like a proud parent when I look down to inspect the damage I’ve done to the toilet…
Comments
ooooh i'll stay tuned for #1. i've never cared for him. and he was so unprofessional when it came to speaking about brit!
Posted by: acaligurl at April 16, 2008 12:42 PM
Dr. Phil? Wow!
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at April 16, 2008 03:32 PM
Dr. Phil is client #10
Posted by: thenambypamby at April 16, 2008 06:36 PM
Does # 18 mean you think you are a big piece of s--t?
Posted by: fermanator at April 16, 2008 09:34 PM
You are ABSOLUTELY vile and I would bet the smell of your shit is too. Besides that, I enjoyed reading your predictions. :)
Posted by: dream at April 17, 2008 01:00 AM
Only once a week?
i took a dump a few days ago that looked like a black cock with big circular balls.
Posted by: pretty at April 17, 2008 02:15 PM
Dr. Phil's charity sounds fishy to me. And he defines hubris. We shall see. Hopefully he's cleaner than a nun's cooch, but we shall see.
Most of the time, I do not think I'm a big piece of dung, but excellent question Fermanator.
Dream, sometimes it's stinky. Sometimes it's less stinky. That's the range.
Pretty, of COURSE more than once a week, but at least once a week, I'm REALLY proud of what I've done. Congrats on what sounds like a miraculous dump for you.
Posted by: Fool at April 18, 2008 12:07 AM
pretty's dump was amazing. my downstairs toilet still hasn't recovered from the trauma.
Posted by: cheka at April 18, 2008 12:25 AM
Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! RIGHT?!?!
Posted by: ming the merciless at April 18, 2008 09:11 AM
hey, thanks for stopping by the blog! I agree with your DHS comment and chuckle at several others ;) Love your tagline (header) above too - I'll be moseying by your way again.... ;)
Posted by: tina at April 19, 2008 07:19 PM
Hilarious as usual!
Posted by: miss happy at April 21, 2008 06:20 PM
