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April 08, 2008
Yesterday’s Headlines with Expert Analysis
Drudge Report: “Biographers say Oliver Stone’s ‘W’ script inaccurate…”
Well, there’s the absolute shocker of the century, because, I mean, Oliver Stone always seems to stay so true to history in all his films, especially when they’re remotely political. You can hate the President with good reason; I don’t really give a damn, but how can you think Fidel is the virtuous being that Mr. Stone thinks he is? Mother Theresa, Fidel isn’t.
MSNBC: “FAA official loses safety oversight duties”
That’s an absolutely shocking development considering the favorable press generated by the FAA the last month. Remember the aftermath of the fatal ValuJet crash in the mid-1990s when a former FAA official spoke out against that agency, citing the extreme conflict of interest that exists when a single organization is supposed to promote air travel while also keeping the skies safe? Well, it's been a dozen years, why don’t we have two agencies at this point? I’m very rarely in favor of expanding the federal government, but we should have one agency to serve as a cheerleader for air travel and a different one to serve as the high school principal (i.e. to keep things in line)! (Hopefully the cheerleader and the principal won't end up banging each other, but that's an entirely different matter. Speaking of teachers banging students, we haven't had a good hot-female-teacher-sleeps-with-young-male-student scandal in quite some time. I think we're due.)
MSNBC: “534 taken from polygamist ranch [in Texas…]”
That pretty much wiped out the state’s entire Mormon population. The moral of the story: Don’t mess with Southern Baptists, at least not in Texas! As a sidenote, it will be so nice if John McCain can actually win the presidential election without catering to the religious nuts in the Republican party. It's time to wrest control away from those folks. They've been a disaster for Republicans this decade and have completely hijacked the party.
Drudge Report: “Son likely gave bird flu to father…”
And that’s probably why Child Protective Services decided to give the father a pass for beating the crap out of his son upon learning the news.
And finally… MSNBC: “Pavarotti’s last performance was lip-synched”
In equally shocking, breaking news, I urinated yesterday… several times. For crying out loud, the big dude's dead. Let it go. And by "big dude," I mean Pavarotti, not my thing. (Hey, a cheap laugh is better than no laugh.)
Comments
You forgot to talk about the pregnant man. Now theres a story of epic proportions.
Posted by: chance encounter at April 8, 2008 02:15 PM
Strangely enough, that one hasn't caught my attention. I've seen the headlines a bunch of times, but have never been drawn in. Perhaps I'll do a little research on the subject.
Posted by: Fool at April 9, 2008 06:37 PM
