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July 22, 2008
Bar Exam Anyone?
At one point, there were quite a few bar exam takers who read this site. These days, it's mostly junkies and necrophiliacs. Okay, that's not true; I actually don't know who reads these pages aside from Papa Fool, a few friends, and other bloggers who leave comments or send emails. The rest of you come, read, and leave, lurking anonymously at various points throughout the day. Whoever you are and whatever you do, enjoy this post, which has become an annual ritual. If it doesn't apply to you, consider yourself lucky (unless you're in prison for life or a homeless person, in which case, you'd probably make a deal with the devil to be taking a bar exam instead of doing whatever it is you're doing; though, if you're a homeless person, it's kind of impressive that you have computer access and located this blog).
It’s a Monday night in late July. You’re holed up in a hotel room praying like you’ve never prayed before. For the last twelve hours, you’ve been an absolute basket case. You’re not sure what a death row inmate feels like in the days leading up to his execution, but you can’t imagine it’s much worse than how you feel now. You’ve had trouble eating recently, but today has been especially difficult. As soon as you glance over at the room clock, you can feel the beads of sweat starting to build on your forehead.
“It is really true?” you wonder. “Do I only have ten more hours before this damn thing begins?”
You’ve had an entire summer to learn the information, but for whatever reason, you find yourself pacing frantically in your room, wondering how the hell you can possibly pass. You check the alarm clock for what must be the twentieth time. You set the alarm on your phone just in case and leave the ringer on, hoping like hell that one of your idiot friends doesn’t call you in the middle of the night.
You take a pill out of its case and swallow it with the aid of some overpriced bottled water. You let out a huge sigh before resting your head on the pillow. Before you close your eyes, you stare straight at the ceiling and actually say, “Please let me sleep tonight, God. Please.” You’ve had more contact with the man upstairs in the last twelve hours than you’ve had in the last twelve years. A used car lot hasn’t seen as much bargaining as your room.
You stand up and check the alarm clock again. It still looks like it’s in perfect working order. You wonder if you should turn off your phone. If the alarm clock doesn’t work, the wake-up call should. “Oh the hell with it,” you think. “Better safe than sorry.”
For the next fifteen minutes, your mind is racing faster than Mario Andretti. “Does he even race anymore?” you wonder. “I’d love to be a racecar driver.”
Your thoughts continue to be sporadic, yet slow down in pace. Ah, yes. The Ambien (or Lunesta or whatever the hell you took) is finally starting to kick in. Within minutes, you’ll be asleep for good.
You've never been this nervous. Why can't you have one extra day?
Welcome to the night before day one of the bar exam.
BAD NEWS: If you're taking the July bar exam, you're going to have a rough night next Monday.
GOOD NEWS: Rough night aside, you can definitely pass!
BETTER NEWS: Even if you've fallen way behind this summer, there's still one week to absorb a ton of information. Use this week to ensure that you pass! Make sure you read every essay in your Bar/Bri book as well as every answer. That simple exercise will help tremendously. Don't freak out on test day. You don't have to be perfect! You can do this!
BEST NEWS: I finally got to see the new Batman movie! (Doesn't help you, I realize, but it enhanced my life.)
Comments
I think anyone who actually chooses to drive a yellow car/SUV/truck has to be a complete asshole.
And, will we ever know if Big Bird is a boy or girl?
Posted by: Leaf at July 22, 2008 07:04 PM
Ah, memories of the bar exam. My best one is of passing out in the bathroom of a bar in Albany the night after it was all over. Good times.
Posted by: teahouseblossom at July 30, 2008 10:41 PM
