« Point is you need to get TO the Point! | Main | The Weekend! »
October 02, 2008
Possible Exchange at Next Presidential Debate
Tom Brokaw: …and now that we know the rules of tonight’s debate, let’s get on with it. Senator McCain, you have one minute for your opening statement.
Senator McCain: I want to apologize to the American public. My friends, when I chose Sarah Palin to be my running mate, it was a somewhat impulsive decision that I thought would energize my campaign. Well, my friends, that decision did in fact energize my campaign. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that Sarah Palin is a complete imbecile. My friends, I now realize that I should not have chosen her to be my running mate. I’ve actually asked her to step down, but she’s responded to that request by literally finding a staircase and taking one step down. When I saw her do that, I knew it wasn’t even worth explaining to her that when I asked her to step down, I was actually telling her that I wanted to fire her. My friends, the woman is dumber than Betty White’s character on The Golden Girls. Governor Palin actually makes that character look like a freaking Rhodes Scholar. My friends, Governor Palin is a moron, plain and simple. That’s why I want you to know that I am healthier than ever and will not die in the next four years and three months. I am a patriot, my friends. I love America. If I didn’t die in a Vietnamese prison while they tortured me unmercifully, I sure won’t die as your commander-in-chief. I simply wouldn’t put the country in that position. So, my friends, I pledge to you tonight, I will not die in office. I simply can’t do that as a man who loves his country. But if I did die, even though I won’t, you would have to impeach her immediately. Thank you.
Tom Brokaw: Um, that was a very interesting opening statement, Senator McCain. Senator Obama, you have one minute.
Senator Obama: Thank you, Tom. First, I want to say it’s a pleasure to be on this stage. And I thank the debate commission for organizing the event. But you know, I don’t want to proceed with politics as usual. Since John is leveling with the American public, I will too. I want to fuck Governor Palin. There! I said it. It’s out there, and as Walter Cronkite would say, “That’s the way it is.” And if Sarah Palin accepted my desire to have carnal knowledge of her and if we decided to film our physical union and if that would be appropriate for kindergartners to watch as part of sex education, well then so be it. And frankly, Senator Biden told me he wants to fuck Governor Palin too. He actually told me he wants to name off Supreme Court decisions while he’s pumping insider her to see how many he can cite before he ejaculates. I kind of laughed when he told me that. But as we all know, Joe’s got a habit of telling you more than you want to know. But I want to be clear. Make no mistake about it. Senator Biden would ejaculate in Governor Palin’s vagina, and I, uh, think as a man, who has, uh, served his country as well as he has, well, what I’m getting at is that I think Senator Biden can come any damn place he pleases, whether it’s in Governor Palin’s vagina, her ass, her mouth, or even on her eyebrows. Thank you. I see that my time has expired.
Is it too late for McCain to dump her? She is an absolute idiot. I felt more uncomfortable watching her interviews with Katie Couric than I did when I got food poisoning so badly that I had it coming out of my mouth and butt at the same time. And trust me, that was NOT a comfortable experience.
Comments
Like I said over on my blog: at this point the politician that Sarah Palin most reminds me of is Jesse Ventura.
Posted by: Philosofer at October 2, 2008 10:51 AM
Agreed on all fronts. And LMAO at this post!!!
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at October 3, 2008 12:52 PM
Her eyebrows?!?! That's fantastic!!!
Posted by: Danielson at October 7, 2008 06:00 PM
