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October 28, 2008
This might be the most directionless Blog Entry I've Ever Written
Don’t believe the polls.
Don’t believe the hype.
Barack Obama is not going to win the 2008 Presidential Election.
He doesn’t have a chance.
And how do I know this, you might wonder.
It’s quite simple actually. Yesterday, on my way home, I rode the bus (a rarity) and happened to sit next to a man from Bangladesh. The man happened to be wearing a McCain-Palin button and also had a McCain-Palin sign with him.
Needless to say, I asked if he thought McCain would win.
He replied with more force than the “Sisters” did when they interacted with Andy in The Shawshank Redemption. “Absolutely! I am one HUNDRED percent certain that McCain will win on Tuesday. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind. He is going to annihilate Obama!”
The man also informed me that Palin is a wonderful woman – quite capable, and loved by all. Then he told me Obama wouldn’t be qualified to be a security guard if the Big O moved to another country and started applying for jobs. (Clearly other countries have much more stringent standards than America does when it comes to hiring foreign security guards.)
So, my friends (fuck you for saying that fifty thousand times over the last year, John McCain – sorry, sometimes I have Tourette’s), after hundreds of hours of reading about this election, watching television coverage of this election, and thinking about this election, all I really needed to do to figure things out was sit next to the wise man from Bangladesh, who, by the way, was incredibly excited about placing a campaign sign near a busy Arlington intersection. He seemed to think this was a key to victory and that anyone who saw his magic sign would all of a sudden realize that voting for anyone other than McCain would be pure idiocy.
Who am I to argue with a Bangladeshian dude?
I repeat, “Who am I?”
WHO AM I?
I’M JEAN VALJEAN!!!!!!!!
And so Javert, you see it’s true
That man bears no more guilt than you!
Who am I?
TWO. FOUR. SIX. OH. ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(If you’ve never seen Les Miserables, you REALLY, REALLY should. It’s absolutely the best musical I’ve seen.)
You probably expect me to actually tie Les Mis in better than I just did. Well, as Mr. Underhill would put it, “Better luck next time.”
“And that’s the way it is.” Anyone else think Uncle Walter Cronkite asked Katie Couric if he could slide a finger or two inside her when she asked him to record the voiceover at the beginning of her newscast?
Speaking of newscasts, Anderson Cooper is really growing on me. It’s hard to even stomach MSNBC anymore. That channel has become a caricature of itself. I wish Pat Buchanan would find a home at CNN or Fox News. I enjoy his commentary, but can’t suffer through anything but Morning Joe on GE’s cable news channel. Olbermann would be better served to actually allow a few conservative guests on his show. Talk about an echo chamber. He’s a really bright guy, but seems fearful of hearing any point of view that disagrees with his own.
Before I moved to D.C., I was very giving when it came to homeless people. Now I look at most of them with contempt. Not the crazy ones, mind you. If they’re talking to fifteen people who don’t exist anywhere but their mind, I’ve got no issues with them. It’s the ones who beg and beg and beg because it’s easier than having a job that annoy me. Where’s Michael Douglas’ character in Falling Down when we need him?
Has anyone seen any good movies that are currently out in theaters? I’m open to recommendations.
“Katie, what about just the tip of my pinky?”
“NO, WALTER!”
And that’s the way it probably wasn’t, but it's a good image...
Comments
Fool,
Greetings from Hong Kong, where I am planning my 5th wedding anniversary.
Anyway, the fact that you like Buchanan's commentary is grossly disturbing to me. Help me understand.
As for the homeless, you should see San Francisco. The city might turn me into a conservative after all...I haven't spent much time in DC, but ours are ubiquitous and lack any semblance of shy. Miserable problem despite 50000 social programs to fix it.
(m)
Posted by: (m) at October 28, 2008 05:40 AM
Even if you don't agree with Buchanan's viewpoints, it's hard not to find him engaging. He has the best laugh on television and is just fun to watch! Regarding the homeless situation, nothing is worse than San Francisco in that regard. With all the social programs that are available, one sort of thinks complacency with the eyesore that is the homeless population is the true culprit. I'm all for helping people and letting them live their lives, but there's also something to be said for letting non-homeless people stroll through downtown San Francisco without getting accosted every ten seconds by a begger. Your mayor doesn't help matters.
Posted by: Fool at October 28, 2008 08:25 AM
I've never been to San Fran, but I would venture a guess that part of the reason there are so many homeless is because everyone treats the voting booth as their collection plate. They vote Democrat, which means they don't actually have to help people on their own.
Posted by: Philosofer at October 28, 2008 02:45 PM
Wow, you meet the most interesting people!!!
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at October 28, 2008 07:47 PM
It's the electrial vote that counts.
My brother and his wife are staunch Republicans in CA. I told them they should just stay home on November 4 cos' their votes (in CA) are worth as much as Mr. Bangladeshi's opinion on the election.
Posted by: Ming the Merciless at October 29, 2008 09:54 AM
Opps! I meant to say 'electorial votes'.
Posted by: Ming the Merciless at October 29, 2008 09:57 AM
It's very interesting that your FOB bus buddy would side with the right given that the "base" of the right contains a lot of people who are anti-immigrant, anti-anyone who's not protestant Christian and devoutly pro-NASCAR. (BTW. DRIVING IN CIRCLES IS NOT A FUCKING SPORT. IF IT WERE I'D QUIT MY JOB AND DO LAPS IN DUPONT CIRCLE ALL DAY).
Les Mis is a musical for men who are men! I love it.
Posted by: Wiseazzz at October 29, 2008 12:37 PM
Despite your post, I'm hanging onto a hope that Obama will win.
As for your Bangladeshi friend, did you break into "There is a Castle on a Cloud" after your conversation with him?
Posted by: teahouseblossom at October 30, 2008 12:36 AM
