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October 14, 2008
Tuesday Brain Drain....
The Dodgers had no business losing last night’s game against the Phillies. I don’t know how I got so sucked into the playoffs this year, but I have and am NOT happy with how things are turning out. Can you imagine a World Series between Tampa Bay and Philadelphia? I would rather watch Orrin Hatch and Senator Larry Craig’s wife copulate (with each other).
NEW RULE: If you are a cashier at Safeway and a foreigner is checking out, you are not to ask that person more than once if he would like to donate money to combat Breast Cancer. Bless this Asian man’s soul, but he could not have been more confused when the cashier kept asking him if he wanted to give money to breast cancer research. He looked at her like Mr. Miyagi looked at Sarah Palin when they made their sex tape. (By the way, why the hell hasn’t that thing leaked yet?)
Why won’t Joe Biden admit he got Botox? Would such a revelation really alienate voters? Remember when Greta Van Susteren admitted to getting her eyes done after she left CNN, but before she started at Fox News? Her candor was refreshing. It would be nice if “Say it ain’t so” Joe Biden, who is known for his candor, would not lie about this. On the other hand, why this is even a story is ridiculous. People, including politicians, get plastic surgery and other cosmetic procedures to make themselves feel better about themselves (possibly paving the way for them to get more tang or rooster, depending on their preference). Big deal.
There has been a recent rash of robberies in Adams Morgan, an allegedly nice D.C. neighborhood. Add this to the list of reasons Adams Morgan sucks. It’s dirty, dirty, dirty, and oh yeah, dirty. (U Street also sucks.)
I had the best potato skins I’ve ever had last night. Why every restaurant – American, Italian, Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Moroccan, Afghani, Indian, Ethiopian (ha, ha – oxymoron), Irish, etc. – doesn’t offer potato skins to its patrons is beyond me. If I ever become Program Director of the Food Network, I will most likely scrap all the current programs and replace them with wall-to-wall, 24/7 coverage of how to make potato skins.
If someone doesn’t have a television equipped for a digital signal at this point, do we really want this person watching TV? I am SO sick of the "In 2009, you will not be able to get television signals from rabbit ears anymore" and "John McCain is going to tax health care benefits" commercials.
Do you know what the worst part about three-day weekends is?
Tuesdays!
With that stated, thank you Mr. Columbus for sailing the Ocean Blue and paving the way for me to sleep until 11:30 yesterday morning!
Over the weekend, I found out that O.J. Simpson’s idiotic attorney, Yale Galanter, did not try to get the audio recordings (of O.J. carrying on like an angry lunatic in the hotel room) suppressed from the trial. Apparently the tapes could not be authenticated, so there was at least a plausible justification for keeping them out. Galanter thought the tapes helped his client, so he didn’t want to keep them out. I bet the Juice is happy to know that the jurors all basically thought the witnesses were scumbags whom they did not trust and convicted O.J. almost exclusively on the tapes. I have no doubt if Johnnie Cochran were still alive and chose to represent O.J. in the Vegas trial, Simpson would be a free man today. But those are the breaks!
If McCain ends up pulling this out somehow, do you think he will ask Palin to stay in Alaska? “Why, John? Do you want to keep me closer to the people so I don’t get sucked into the Washington machine?” “No, Governor. I actually have come to realize that you are an idiot."
Comments
I can't seem to get past that copulation visual :-)
And might I just say... EWWWWW!!!!
Posted by: LisaBinDaCity at October 14, 2008 08:36 AM
I'd much rather see the Rays playing in the World Series than the Red Sox.
Posted by: Philosofer at October 14, 2008 10:49 AM
Hadn't heard the botox story. I'll have to check on that.
And Philosofer, up to now I had thought you were such a reasonable person. ;-)
Posted by: CBK at October 14, 2008 12:44 PM
What? I hate the Red Sox. They're the most evil team in baseball. Hating evil makes me unreasonable?
Quite frankly, because of that position, I don't even want to engage you in rational discourse about relevant topics.
Who's unreasonable now?
Posted by: Philosofer at October 14, 2008 01:13 PM
I wonder if Pat Morita has seen Palin's secret parts in the shape of a dog's paw :o)
Posted by: teahouseblossom at October 14, 2008 09:37 PM
